


I Just Came to Say Hello

by HollowHearted



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, First Time, Gay Sex, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, My First Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Outdoor Sex, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 08:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13337595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowHearted/pseuds/HollowHearted
Summary: Newt has been flirting around at parties ever since his last breakup, but the brunet Minho introduces him to changes things.





	1. I Could Stick Around and Get Along With You

It was exactly ten minutes past eleven when Minho introduced me to the brunet. He was pretty cute, but I wasn't looking for anyone after what happened with...just forget I mentioned that. Basically, I wasn't interested. 

I had a reputation, or I liked to think that I did, for being hard--scratch that; impossible--to get. I showed up, chatted a bit, maybe danced a little, and then I was gone. Same plan for tonight. Well, tonight I might stick around a bit longer than usual, if the music stayed this good. 

Anyway, back to the introduction. 

"Newt, this is Thomas. Thomas, Newt," Minho said. The brunet smiled and nodded a greeting.

"Nice to meet ya, Tommy," I said, maybe a little flirtatiously. That's just how I roll.

His eyebrows raised. "You're from England, aren't you?"

Okay, definitely not noticing how cute a voice he had.

"What on earth gave it away?" I grinned. 

Minho looked back and forth between us a few times. 

"Is Teresa here?" he asked Tommy. Shove off, just cause I'm using a nickname doesn't mean I like him. I'm here for the party, remember. And no, I'm not curious about who this Teresa is. I know she's not Minho's girlfriend, because girls aren't really his thing. So no, I'm not at all worried Tommy's got a girl here with him. 

"God, I hope not. She won't leave me alone. Have I told you how many times I've told her I'm not interested?" 

Totally not relieved. Minho and Tommy started talking about how annoying she was, and I slipped away to find a drink. Tommy was undeniably cute, sexy even, with his caramelly eyes and athletic build, but like I said, I'm here for the party. 

That attitude began to change as I watched him discreetly from the dancefloor. He and Minho (who's hair was impeccable as always, the bloody bastard. Mine was all over the place.) were chatting, laughing, and drinking. Maybe I'd had too much alcohol, but I really wanted to talk to him, get to know him a bit. I found myself giving in to the urge as the song drew to an end. 

I glided up behind him and tapped his shoulder. "Care for a dance?"

The surprise on his face as he turned to face me had me smirking with amusement. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

I pulled him away to the dancefloor. 

 

***

The blonde walking towards me with Minho somehow managed to be adorable and smoking hot at the same time. If I were of a braver sort I'd chat him up, but right now all words seemed to erase themselves from my mind. 

"Newt, this is Thomas. Thomas, Newt," Minho was saying. I managed to keep my composure and smile politely. 

The chorus of Kat Dahlia's "I Think I'm In Love" was stuck on replay in my head when the boy smiled, chocolate eyes crinkling.

"Nice to meet ya, Tommy." No. God no. He was freaking BRITISH, too?! And I had to be imagining things, because that sounded a little flirtatious.

Then brilliant me decided to state the obvious. "You're from England, aren't you?"

Before I had a chance to be embarrassed, he grinned. "What on earth gave it away?"

Now I had no idea what to say. That sexily mussed blonde hair and, well, just his presence, had me mute.

"Is Teresa here?"

THANK YOU MINHO!!!!! "God, I hope not. She won't leave me alone. Have I told you how many times I've told her I'm not interested?"

As Minho pulled me into a conversation, Newt faded into the crowd. When he was gone, Minho smirked.

"What?"

"You're totally into him, aren't you?"

Half-panicked, I fumbled for words. "No! We just met. And even if I did, he's waaaaaaaay out of my league."

"I think he likes you, too. But be careful. He had some relationship issues a while back and he basically flirts around now. He probably won't stick around for the whole party." Minho's face was serious. "But you never know, you might be lucky. That "Tommy" sounded like genuine attraction to me."

"Well, if he comes back, I'll talk to him more." He had called me Tommy. I hated it when people called me that, but with him, I didn't mind at all.

"Honestly, Thomas, your theme song is "Brave". You know, "say whatchou wanna say"." He did a horrible imitation of the song, complete with waving arms and pretend hair flipping, and I couldn't help laughing. Conversation with him was always easy, and 60% laughing.

We must have been chatting for half an hour when I felt the light touch on my shoulder and an accented voice asking, "Care for a dance?"

No. Way. I didn't have this kind of luck. Like, ever. Look at me, sixteen, single (and always have been) and the only person interested in me is a girl. I don't even like girls! I shouldn't even be here tonight! But as I turned around, I found out that I wasn't imagining things. It was Newt, hair mussed up even more, cheeks flushed from dancing, and with an irresistible smirk on his face.

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

He took my hand with a grin and pulled me away.

***

I hadn't been serious in my flirting for months, but now I was in complete earnest. Probably the alcohol, but I _l.i.k.e.d._ Tommy. Judging by his expressions as we danced, he returned the feeling. I also got the impression of innocence from him. He blushed whenever I grinned, and wasn't forward with his body like some of the people I'd danced with.

I got closer and closer to him as time passed, until we were almost flush. Then he did look me in the eye. My breath caught at the intensity of his gaze. I started leaning in, carefully, giving him time to back out. But he didn't. And then we were kissing and it was bloody perfect. I sneaked an arm around his waist, pulling him up against me, while the other hand found it's way to the back of his head.

It started out slowly. He was clearly inexperienced, and I took the time to thoroughly teach him the finer points of kissing. His hands on me felt like they were on fire. Sweet Lord, I wanted him. The kiss deepened, and I started guiding him to a wall.

With Tommy pressed against a wall and whimpering slightly, I felt like I was on top of the bloody world. This just felt so _right_. I was getting hard, and Tommy was, too. I really really wanted to take this farther, but I needed Tommy to be okay with that. I pulled back, gasping for air.

He looked wrecked, lips red and swollen, hair sticking up every which way, and pupils blown wide. He was panting, too. I moved my hands to his cheeks and asked softly, "My place?" Please let him be okay with this, just please. I _really_ didn't want to scare him off now.

He hesitated. "It's okay if you don't want to." I ran my thumbs over his cheekbones. "I'm not going to be disappointed, and it won't mean the end of us, either. We can meet up sometime." I was trying my bloody damnedest to reassure him.

"It's just..." he was blushing furiously "I-I've never..."

I smiled gently. "That's okay. I'll take care of you." I gave him another gentle kiss.

He seemed to relax. "Yeah, your place."


	2. Hello, Hello-oh-oh

I blinked the sleep from my eyes, sleepily confused. I was warm, comfortable, naked, and not alone. Newt smiled at me, brushing an unruly strand of my hair into place. "Morning, Tommy."

I blushed as the previous night's events caught up to me. 

***

I supposed that Newt asking me to dance was a reward for some good deed in a past life, because there was no way I'd done anything to deserve it in this life. My heart was pounding at least as loud as the music as he kept getting closer to me. I really wanted to kiss him, but I didn't dare to. Minho's warning rang in my ears, and I tried very hard to tell myself that maybe this was different.

Finally, he was so close I couldn't take it anymore. I looked into his eyes, searching for some sort of answer. I found it when he started to close the gap between our lips. I thought my heart would explode before his soft, soft lips were pressed against mine. It felt _so **good**_. He pulled me against him and the feel of him had me weak in the knees. I was nervous, this being my first kiss, that I'd put him off, but he was patient and helped me figure out how this was supposed to work. 

I hardly noticed we were moving until my back was against a wall and Newt's hands started to wander. My body was reacting and I found myself whimpering with need. Newt pulled back, hands moving to my cheeks, thumbs stroking my cheekbones gently. Part of me was grateful for the oxygen, and another part longed for him to kiss me again. His pupils were lustblown and his lips were red. I wanted him, in a way I'd never wanted anoyone before.

The expression on his face twisted something inside me. The world narrowed to the two of us, and it felt so intimate, even though he was just looking at me. "My place?" he asked, so so softly. It took a second to comprehend what he was asking, and when I did I hesitated. Would he still want me if he knew that I was a complete virgin?

"It's okay if you don't want to." His thumbs gently stroked over my cheekbones again. "I'm not going to be disappointed, and it won't mean the end of us, either. We can meet up sometime." 

Those words lit me up inside. This wasn't going to be a one night stand, I didn't think. But he needed to know. I blushed. "It's just...I-I've never..."

The gentle little smile and his soft eyes melted my doubts. "That's okay. I'll take care of you." He placed the tenderest kiss you can imagine on my lips. I trusted him more in that moment than I'd ever trusted anyone. 

***

I led Tommy outside to my car, and he laughed a little. 

"What?" I asked, already knowing. I got this a lot.

"Nothing. Just...a mini?"

"I know, stereotypical of me. I still love it to pieces, though." I grinned. "Hop in."

As we drove I started thinking, partly to distract myself from the hot brunet in the seat beside me, but also because the thinking needed to be done. Tommy was a virgin. He obviously thought something of that, or he would've given that away long ago. Him giving that to _me_ meant something, too. But what? Had I fired him up so much he didn't care anymore, or did I really mean something to him? Cause he bloody meant something to me, even if we had only met a couple hours ago. 

"I can hear you thinking from here. Second thoughts?" he asked, startling me just a wee bit. I didn't miss the hurt in his voice, and felt bad that I'd caused it.

I glanced over to him. "No, of course not. I just don't want to push you into this if you're not ready."

On another thought plane, I was telling myself this was a bad idea. My last boyfriend had taken advantage of how much I cared about other people, broken my heart, and cheated on me. Granted, he and Tommy were two completely different people and I didn't think Tommy capable of hurting someone like that, but I still carried the emotional scars. 

"I...I'm ready. Just a little nervous," he said. He was telling the truth, I could tell.

I pulled into the otherwise empty driveway. "We're here. My parents work night shifts and my sister is at a sleepover, so we're quite alone." 

We got out of the car and went up to the door. I glanced at him, desparately wanting him and worried that I was taking advantage of him. He looked confident enough that I told myself I was overthinking. I opened the door, and as soon as Tommy was through I pushed him against it, effectively closing it and putting him in a perfect place to kiss him. I did just that. He moaned, and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue past his lips, earning myself another moan and desparate hands trying to find a good grip on me. 

***

I nervously followed Newt to his car, and couldn't help chuckling. 

"What?" 

"Nothing. Just...a mini?" I thought it suited him, but it was still funny.

He gave me one of those heartmelting grins. "I know, stereotypical of me. I still love it to pieces, though. Hop in."

Newt looked distant, which didn't help the state of nervousness I was in. Had he changed his mind? Was I wrong about this entire thing? Was he only doing this because he felt obligated to now? Brilliant me decided to voice my fears. "I can hear you thinking from here. Second thoughts?"

He glanced over, apparently startled. "No, of course not. I just don't want to push you into this if you'e not ready." I believed him, but something told me there was a little more to it than that.

"I...I'm ready. Just a little nervous."

He pulled into the driveway of a very nice looking house. "My parents work night shifts and my sister is at a sleepover, so we're quite alone." This relieved and terrified me. Was I really ready for this? I wondered as I followed him to the door.

I mentally slapped myself. This boy was entirely worthy of my trust, obviously caring and gentle. He wasn't going to hurt me. My confidence boosted again. He opened the door and I followed him in. I was quickly pushed back against the door and kissed hungrily. I let out a moan and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I was experiencing the best kind of sensory overload. I was desperate to touch him and reached out blindly.

***

After a proper snog, I started pulling him towards my room. He followed me with no resistance. I pushed him onto the bed and hovered over him. Just the fact that he was underneath me drove me wild. I leaned down and kissed him even more passionately, though I couldn't comprehend how that was even possible. Now I ran my hands along his sides, over his chest, tangled fingers in his hair, ghosted over his hips, teasingly. He was practically writhing with pleasure, and I hadn't even touched him properly yet. 

I toed my shoes and socks off while I rid Tommy of his shirt, and then toed his off. It was a skill I'd picked up from someone I honestly didn't want to think about right now. The only person I need concern myself with right now was the innocent little brunet in my bed. Tommy struggled to remove my shirt, trembling with obvious pleasure. I quickly pulled it off and tossed it away, then ground against him. His breath hitched and his head fell back, giving me perfect access to his neck. I began to nip, lick and suck the skin there to my heart's content. It was my job to make him enjoy this, and Tommy was bloody going to. I was going to drive him mad with passion. And everyone who saw him tomorrow would notice these marks and know he was taken.

I had mercy on the poor boy when he whimpered, "Newt, please!" in between moans and whines. I reached over to the nightstand and got out the lube before kissing Tommy gently.

"I'm going to take good care of you, alright? Trust me?"

He managed to open his eyes and meet my gaze. "Yes," he breathed.

"Ready?"

He nodded.

"I've got you, Tommy," I said, slipping a finger inside him.

***

Newt pulled me after him and I followed willingly, somewhat dazed by the intense makeout session. He pushed me onto the bed and it hit me that this was very real. I was in a sexy blonde's bed with said sexy blonde kissing me senseless and touching me places no one had ever touched me before. I needed him so badly. I just couldn't hold back the moans and whimpers. 

"Newt, please!"

He pulled off me for a moment, but returned with a soft kiss. "I'm going to take good care of you, alright? Trust me?"

God, yes. More than anyone. That was what I wanted to say. What my pleasure muddled mind came up with was, "Yes."

"Ready?" I loved those eyes. So deep and soft, like melted dark chocolate. 

I nodded, words beyond me now. 

"I've got you, Tommy," he said, breaching me.

It hurt, just a little, but the sweet little kisses Newt gave me eased it tremendously, and the endearment. It made me feel special. His motions were gentle, and I soon relaxed and began to enjoy the feeling. He added another finger, which made me wince and hiss a little.

"I'm sorry, Tommy. I'm so sorry." He sounded almost panicked.

"I..I'm okay." I was, now. It had just been a little bit of a surprise.

***

I was trying so hard to be gentle. I wanted this to be special for Tommy. The thought that I might have hurt him rocked me. I stroked his hair, kissed and nuzzled his cheeks, trying to soothe him. He said he was okay, but I was still worried he might not be.

"Are you sure?" I murmured against his heavenly skin. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Feels good now." I noticed the blush. 

"Good." I continued prepping him and was much more careful adding the third finger. This time he seemed to enjoy it, letting out a long moan.

I decided he was as ready as he was going to be and asked one last time, "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

He nodded, breath coming in gasps, "Please."

I quickly removed the last of my clothing and sighed at the release from the tight confines of my pants. I lubed myself up and leaned over Tommy again. "I'm going to be as gentle as I can, but I need you to tell me if it hurts. Okay?" 

"Okay," he whispered back. I put his arms around me, knowing he'd need the contact to ground himself and lined myself up before pushing in slowly. As his tight heat swallowed me, he let out a high pitched sound that could have been pleasure or pain. I stopped. "More, please, Newt! Please!" he begged, nails digging into my back.

I was as careful as possible as I slid in completely, even though I wanted to claim him as my own and make him scream with pleasure. That wasn't what Tommy needed, so that wasn't what I was going to do. I forced myself to remain still and let him adjust. I took the time to properly admire his lean, muscled body. The sheen of sweat covering him gave his skin a soft glow that made him that much more desirable.

***

Newt Newt Newt more please more ran through my head on repeat. He felt so good. I held him close, staring into those eyes I'd come to depend on, his soft, young features, and his godlike slim body. He kissed me with a fire that rivaled all our previous kisses put together. I was completely swept away. I locked my legs around his slender hips, needing more, closer. When he finally pulled back, there was an unspoken question in his face. I nodded, and he began to move, slowly and carefully, drawing filthy sounds from me. 

When he found that perfect spot I yelled, "Newt! Again, please please Newt, please!" He obliged. 

***

Bloody hell, the _sounds_ he was making! I found myself holding back. He clung to me like a lifesaver, keening as I continued to hit his prostate with every thrust. " _Newt_ " 

"I've got you, Tommy. Breathe. I've got you," I said, touching his cheek gently with one hand.

"'M close," he gasped.

"Go ahead, Tommy. I've got you," I told him. "Let go."

A few thrusts later he did just that, coming hard with a strangled cry that drove me over the edge to one of the best orgasms I'd ever experienced. When I'd ridden it out inside him I carefully slipped out, causing Tommy to whimper at the loss. Now he really needed me. 

***

After the intense wave of pure pleasure that had coursed through me, I lay there limp and trembling, unsure if I could move. A hand was stroking my hair and lips touched mine a few times, but I barely comprehended this. 

As I finally came down from the high I found myself lying with my head on Newt's chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me. At some point he'd cleaned us both up and tucked us under the covers. I felt like I belonged to him, in a very good way. I put an arm around his waist, sated and quite happy with life.

"Back with us?" Newt asked gently.

"Mm-hm. Thanks," I murmured.

"You don't have to thank me, Tommy. Now get some sleep, you more than deserve it."

I did just that, sliding smoothly into pleasant oblivion.

***

"How're you feeling?" Newt asked, clearly concerned. 

"I'm fine. Feels good," I said, blushing and unable to meet his gaze. I'd just been the most intimate two humans could be with this boy. What was supposed to come next?

"Hey," he said. I looked up at him now. He gently smiled. "Everything's fine, really. Unless..." his expression was hard to read. "Unless you regret it." He looked down, still with that expression that made me feel like...I don't know. Not right.

"No. I don't regret it. That was the best night of my life, and I'm glad it happened exactly like it happened." Wow. I'd managed to say more than two words and didn't sound stupid while doing so. Go me.

He looked relieved and kissed me impulsively. "Come on. Shower and breakfast, courtesy of the maker of the world's best pancakes."

I smiled. "Sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope to update again tomorrow. :)


	3. Doesn't Really Mean That I'm Into You

I suggested that Tommy shower while I made breakfast. I could see he needed time to think. He agreed to it and I made my way to the kitchen. Mum and Dad wouldn't be back from work for a couple hours, and Sonya was going directly to school from her friend's house, so we were guaranteed privacy.

I made excellent pancakes from scratch, even if I do say so myself. I'm known for it among my little cluster of friends. Speaking of my friends, I wondered how Minho had never introduced me to Tommy before, or why I hadn't at least seen him in school. I made a mental note to ask Tommy about this later. 

By the time I'd finished running the breathtaking events of the previous night over again in my head, the pancakes and bacon were ready and Tommy cautiously poked his head around the corner. 

"Ah, there you are. I was just about to come and tell you breakfast was done," I said, smiling at him. "Tea?"

The awkwardness he seemed to be feeling vanished. "Yeah, sounds good."

"Any particular blend? We've got anything you can think of. My mum says Sonya and I must be addicted to it or something."

"Um, whatever you're having." He blushed a little. He was cute when he did that.

"You're staring," he said, jolting my head out of the clouds.

"Sorry! You, uh, you looked really cute." My gaze flitted over the room, anywhere but him. "No that you aren't cute all the time, I just meant--"

"Aww..."

***

I watched in amusement as Newt rambled, also touched that he thought that. His big brown eyes with their long lashes and the soft pink flush now coloring his cheeks...he was just so beautiful. 

"Aww..." I said without thinking. 

He stopped, looking at me again, slightly confused (another cute look for him). "What?"

"You're blushing."

He blushed harder. "Sorry."

"It's adorable," I blurted. 

His cheeks went a shade deeper. "Stop it, Tommy," he whined. "You're making it worse."

I went over to him and kissed one flushed cheek. "Okay," I whispered. "Tea?"

***

I bolted for the kettle, trying to calm down. I never blushed. Like, never, and here I was going all pink over something so silly, and every word made it worse. 

"Get a grip, Newt," I scolded myself mentally.

"Newt, did you really make these? They're awesome!" Tommy said through a mouthful of food. I turned to see that he'd already eaten over half a pancake. 

"Yeah. It's my secret recipe. Well, technically my mum's not-so-secret recipe," I said, glad of the change of topic. 

"Well, like I said, they're awesome. I may just have breakfast here every morning." 

I laughed. "Family breakfast that bad at home?"

"No, but this is better. Plus I get to see you."

Bloody hell, Newt, quit bloody blushing! You must look like a fool!

***

Aww, he was blushing again. I thought he'd probably appreciate another change of subject, so despite how cute he looked I asked, "You said you have a sister?"

"Yes, I do. Her name's Sonya. She's two years younger than me, but you'd never know it. In fact, when we were little I used to have nightmares, and she would sneak into my room to wake me up and cuddle me until I was alright again." He chuckled. "We're very protective of each other. She was the first person I came out to."

"Aww, that's sweet. I'm an only child myself. My friend Chuck's practically my little brother though. I miss him."

"What happened?" he asked carefully.

"We moved. A week ago, actually. My dad got a promotion. That's why I haven't been at school. I start tomorrow. We live next door to Minho."

"Ah, I see. You two keep in touch?" He set a cup of tea in front of me and sat down with his own. 

"Thanks. Yeah, we text."

"That's good. Always good to have friends. I made Earl Grey," he said.

"Mm. That's my favorite."

We chatted more over breakfast, until "This Girl is on Fire" started playing. Newt pulled out his phone. "I'd better get this."

"No problem." I wondered who that ringtone was for...but Newt answered that question when he answered the phone.

"Sonya-sunny-sunshine. How was the sleepover?" he asked, obvious affection in his voice. "No, please don't call me that. You know I hate it...No, I don't prefer waterlizard." He rolled his eyes. "Newts are amphibians anyway, not reptiles. Have you never taken zoology?....Whatever...mh-hm. Is that the time! I've gotta go, I'm still home. See you at lunch...Oi, quit calling me that!" He hung up and looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Tommy, I've gotta get you home now or I'll be late to school."

"No, it's fine, don't worry. Just make sure you give me your number."

***

I hurried to get my stuff before rushing Tommy out to the car. "You said you live nextdoor to Minho?"

"Yeah. That's just two streets over, right?"

I smiled. "Yep. And I drive Minho to school every morning." What blessed luck. "Oh, my number, before I forget." 

He pulled out his phone and I told him my number. He punched it in just as we got to Minho's. As usual, he was standing at the cure making the hitch-hiker gesture. I slowed to a stop and leaned over to give Tommy a quick kiss. "Text me later." 

"I will." He smiled before hopping out of the car. Minho's eyebrows shot up. He watched Tommy as he jogged over to his house, where he waved goodbye before going in.

"No. Way," Minho said as he got in. 

"What?" I asked, all innocence.

"You took him home? I thought you'd given up on the human race. Other than me, of course."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course. Tommy's a good kid."

"You mean a good lay," he muttered. I reached over and whacked him in the arm. "Ow! What the shuck was that for?"

"You know what for. I've moved on and that's the end of it." 

"Does Sonya know about him?"

"No, not yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for comments, loves. Anything you wanna say, I wanna hear. HYPED for the 26th?! I am! I'm going to make myself a cuppa now.


	4. Aw, You're Alright But I'm Here Darlin' to Enjoy the Party

"Who the bloody hell did you meet at that party?" Sonya asked, flopping into a seat beside me.

"Language, sis."

"Come off it, Newtie."

"Quit. Calling. Me. That."

"Fine. Who was he, though?"

"His name's Tommy--Thomas. Wait, how did you know I met someone?" I frowned.

"You're glowing and staring off into space with that sappy look on your face, that's how."

I frowned again. Did she know bloody everything? It seemed like it sometimes.

"He cute? What's he look like? Do you like him?" she gushed. 

"Yes, he's cute. He's about my height, brunet, brown eyes, athletic build, basically perfect, and yes I like him. Don't tell anyone yet, though. He starts school here tomorrow. I don't want to make his first day awkward." 

She looked quite serious. "I won't. Is he...does he deserve you? You know you're extremely empathetic. I just don't want you to get hurt again because you care about someone."

Sonya. Sweet little Sonya. "Yes, he does. He absolutely does. I'm going to be there for him for as long as he'll let me, and I'm pretty sure there for me. We just...clicked. If I believed in destiny I'd say we were meant to be together."

"Aww. I'm glad you've found someone like that. I imagine the sex was pretty good, too."

"Sonya!" I started blushing again. What was with me today?!

"Ohmygoodnessyou'reblushing!" she squealed. "It was _really_ good, then, eh?"

"Yes," I grumbled, only because she would have pestered me until I admitted it.

"Who topped?"

"Sonya, stop it! You're fifteen!"

"Oh, Newtie, the fanfiction I read can't be worse than the pesky little details you'd give me."

I covered my face with my hands. "Remind me to tell Mum to confiscate your phone."

"Well, are you going to tell me?"

"I did, because it was his first time and I am not saying Any. More. Is that understood? And quit bloody calling me Newtie. It's ridiculous."

"Okay, waterlizard."

"Agh!"

***

I spent most of the day wishing Newt was with me, after I'd explained to my parents that I'd spent the night at a friend's house and had forgotten to text them. Not entirely a lie. I felt all happy bubbly today. Could've been the sex or my crush on Newt, or both. Probably both.

At lunchtime I fretted over what to text him, and decided on, 

_Hello, Beautiful._

_(Typing)_

The "typing" then came and went a few times, but no message. I smirked.

_You blushing? ;)_

_Yes, and my sister's right here. She'll notice._

I smiled. I could just picture him weakly protesting. 

_Does she know about us?_

_Yes, I was properly interrogated. Be prepared for the protective little sister talk when you meet her._

_Of course. Plans tonight?_

_Family dinner at some restaurant or another. You?_

_Probably unpacking. We're still getting settled in._

We chatted for the rest of his lunch period, then I had to go on with my day, trying to wipe the stupid grin off my face.

***

The next morning I was all butterflies and uncertainty. Tommy would be at school today. How the bloody hell was I supposed to focus? We'd arranged for me to pick him up when I got Minho. The mini was going to be full with four of us in there. 

"Sonya!" I shouted. 

"Newtie!" she yelled back. 

"C'mere a minute."

She strode into the room, finishing her usual messy fishtail braid. "Yep?"

"Does this look alright?" I asked, gesturing to my outfit. 

She smirked. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"

I flushed. AGAIN. "No, I'm just asking."

"Yes you do! Look at you blushing! You look fine. It's just a normal schoolday, not your wedding. Calm down."

"I can't help it!"

"You look cute when you blush, don't worry. You two going out after school?"

"Yes. Probably. I hope so." What if he didn't want to? What if I was making more of this than he was? What if--

"Newt. Breathe. I think he really likes you, so stop worrying." 

"Okay."

***

_That's awesome, man._

_Yeah. He's gonna be here any minute. Chuck, what do I do??_

_Calm down and try not to hyperventilate, for starters. You'll be fine._

_OK. He's here, gotta go._

_TTYL._

I jogged down the stairs, feeling like a scared rabbit. My heart was beating about that fast. "Bye, Mom!"

"Bye sweetie! Have a good day!"

"You're in the back, Greenie, since I got here first," Minho said, already climbing in with a smug expression.

I had no choice but to climb in the back beside a very pretty blonde girl that had to be Newt's sister.

"Morning, Tommy."

"Morning," I replied, blushing as I recalled that's what he said when I woke up in his bed. 

"Sonya," the girl said, sticking out a hand, which I shook hesitantly. "Spiffing to meet you and all that rot. Lemme get one thing straight; you hurt my brother and I will hang, draw, and quarter you before boiling you in oil and incinerating your bones."

Whoa. When Newt said protective, he meant it.

"Sonya, don't terrify my boyfriend," Newt said.

Boyfriend. Ah, the bliss. He really did care about me. 

"Sorry, Newtie, but he needs to know I'll feed him to the opossums before I let him get away with hurting you. That comes after the skeletal incineration, by the way."

"Nice," Minho said appreciatively. 

"Sonya, for the love of anything you hold dear, Quit. Calling. Me. That."

I was still dumbfounded. 

"I didn't call you "that", I called you "Newtie.""

"Sorry, Tommy, she appears to be trying to be a pain this morning."

"No, it's fine. She cares about you and that's a good thing. I'm not going to hurt Newt, promise."

She looked satisfied. "I like him. Make sure you keep him around, Newtie."

"Agh!!"

Minho laughed.

*** 

Tommy and I had quite a few classes together, which was wonderful and distracting. It felt like I spent most of the morning drooling over him. I'm pretty sure a lot of people noticed, including my ex. Serves him right, the bastard. I'd worried this morning when "boyfriend" popped out of my mouth, but Tommy's expression in the rearview mirror reassured me he was perfectly okay with it.

It felt good to have someone again. Someone I trusted and cared about. Someone to talk to and take out on dates and goof around with. I had a giver sort of personality, you know, big heart, selfless. Well, not entirely true, but you get the basic idea. Sadly, people seemed to want to take advantage of that. So, even though it made me lonely and mildly depressed, I'd given upon relationships for a while. Now I felt like I was thriving again. 

It was a good feeling.

***

Lunch _finally_ came around and I met Newt in front of the bathroom as he came down to find me. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in, desperate for some sort of contact. Having to sit there itching to touch him for hours was not easy.

He pressed me up against a wall in the empty room and kissed me, hard. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I moaned at the feeling, hands roaming. We were so caught up in each other that we didn't notice someone come in until they cleared their throat. We sprang apart, blushing furiously. 

The boy was built like a tree, with a scowl on his face that appeared permanent.

"Gally, um, hi," Newt said, pathetically.

The boy ignored him and Newt pulled me back out into the hall. His cheeks were still that adorable pink. 

"Gally's not the friendliest of people, you'll find. Bit of a bully."

"I see." 

"We'd, uh, better get to lunch," Newt said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Sonya.
> 
> I just noticed...ThomasSangsterAddict gave me kudos! EEEEEE! I love your stories! And your username describes my life bloody perfectly!


	5. Don't Get Too Excited Cause That's All You'll Get From Me

Lunch was a fun time. We chatted, getting to know each other better, and I managed not to blush the entire time. Internally I pondered the passionate kiss Tommy had pulled me into. Of course bloody Gally had to come in and ruin it. I was sure he'd run off and tell Alby, which was fine. Word would get around that I'd moved on, and that Tommy was mine.

"You're staring again."

I blinked, startled. "Oh." Guess what? I'm blushing! That never happens these days!

I steeled myself and said, "After school, do you...do you want to go for coffee?" Please say yes please say yes please say yes

He grinned, "I'd love to."

I felt funny seeing him look at me like that, like little firecrackers were going off in my blood.

***

After the first awesome date, Newt and I went for coffee every day after school that week. Sometimes we sat in the little cafe and sometimes we went for walks, holding hands and chatting amicably. Today we were strolling along the riverbank. Newt had his red scarf on against the autumn chill. He looked really cute.

We haven't had sex since the first night we met, and although at times it feels like we desperately need to (for instance, when I pull him into the janitors closet at school to kiss him) it's like, we're waiting for something first. I don't really understand it.

Of course the fact that we hadn't didn't stop Sonya's comments/innuendos. She was constantly giving us knowing looks at lunch, causing Newt to blush constantly. Their banter was quite amusing, and you could tell that that was just their way of showing affection. She and I are pretty good friends now. I think I've made my way into her circle of trust. 

"There's a party Friday night at Winston's," Newt said casually. 

"Oh?"

"Mm-hm. Minho texted me earlier."

"You want to go?"

"If you do." He looked at me momentarily. 

He had that touching little expression on that I could never have said no to.

"Sounds like fun." 

***

It wasn't all that fun, and I kinda felt bad for getting Tommy to come. It was too loud and everyone was trying to get bloody _wasted_. Tommy and I had danced for a while and I'd gone to get drinks, just to cool us down a bit. As I squeezed my way back through the writhing crowd I noticed my bloody _exboyfriend **hitting on**_ Tommy, who was very obviously uncomfortable. I set the drinks down on a table as I passed it and stormed towards them, bloody furious with the bastard.

***

"You wanna get a room?" the guy asked.

"No, sorry, I'm with someone," I said again, hoping he'd just leave me alone. He was being very persistant. He made a move like he was going to try to touch me, _there_. I half-panicked. Then strong arms went around my torso, holding me tightly from behind. I recognized the chest I was pressed against as Newt's. He was breathing hard, like he'd been running. He growled like an angry German Shepard, cheek against mine. 

"He's mine," he said, snarling the words in a way I wouldn't have thought humanly possible. The guy looked startled and nervous, and melted back into the mass of bodies. 

Newt whirled me around in his arms and I briefly saw his furious expression before he kissed me possessively. "Mine," he said again. His expression suddenly wavered, as though he was unsure of something. I realized he must think he'd overstepped a line.

"Yes," I said gently. "All yours, only yours, and always yours." I leaned in and kissed him, equally gently. I _was_ his, whether he knew it or not, and I didn't want that to change.

He returned the kiss, surprisingly submissive. "Want you," he mumbled against my lips.

"Okay," I said softly. Something was different now. I thought I understood the whole waiting thing now. Newt hadn't been ready for me to take control until tonight. Which made me nervous, but also touched that he trusted me with himself. 

***

By the time we made it back to my house, I was ready to let him take me in the car. I _needed_ him like I'd never needed anything before. Something about the way he'd said "All yours, only yours, and always yours." made me want to kiss him, give him the world, and cry all at the same time.

We made a mad dash for my room, and I slammed him back against the door, causing him to hit his head. Ouch. "Sorry, Tommy. Could've been a bit more gentle, I 'spect," I muttered before kissing him, pressed so close there wasn't half an inch anywhere between us. Tommy moaned, hands running up under my shirt. His hands were cold, but somehow that just made it even better. 

We ended up shirtless and grinding against one another within minutes. I whimpered a helpless, "Tommy, please."

"Shh, sweetheart." He pulled me to the bed and pinned me down, staring into my eyes. Oh God. He was just too perfect. I felt incredibly weak all of a sudden.

Then he was kissing me again and my mind blanked. Somehow my hands had found his shoulders and were trying to pull him closer. When he didn't budge I whined. 

"Easy, now. Easy. Breathe, sweetheart. I've got you," he soothed. 

I managed to catch my breath enough to pant, "Tommy, please." again. 

He brushed my hair away from my forehead. "Tell me what you need, sweetheart."

I was blushing now. "Take me, Tommy. Make me yours. Please. Need you."

"You're sure?"

"Bloody hell, Tommy! _Please!_ "

***

Seeing Newt like this had me as desperate as he was. He utterly and completely wrecked, hair sticking up every which way, pupils blown so wide his eyes looked black, lips red and swollen, pink flush on his cheeks, and a sheen of sweat that made him glow like some unearthly being. My perfect little Newt. 

We were completely naked now and Newt was making such lovely sounds as I nipped and sucked marks onto his collarbone. I was unsure of how to do this, but Newt had taken me not long ago, so I decided to basically follow what he'd done and see what Newt liked and didn't like. 

*** 

Tommy was _finally_ bloody fingering me at least. Everything felt hazy. It was just so _good._

"'M ready, Tommy. Please."

"You sure, sweetheart?"

I nodded, panting. Sweetheart. Made me feel even fuzzier. 

"Ah! Tommy!" I yelled as he entered me. Why hadn't we done this sooner?

***

Newt was arching off the bed, making all sorts of beautiful little gasps and whimpers. I was being as gentle as I could, but I didn't think I could last for much longer if he kept this up. He mewled when I shifted angles. I had to concentrate very hard on not coming. 

"Tommy." My eyes went wide. That sounded like a sob. As in a _sob._

"Sweetheart?" I stopped and leaned over him, propping myself on one arm, looking at him anxiously. Yep. Definitely tears. Oh God, what had I done wrong? He was crying! He was fucking crying! What did I do now?! I almost missed his next words in my panic.

"Feels so good, Tommy. So good. Please kiss me. Please. Need you."

"You're crying," I said, unsure and frightened. I heard my voice shake. It terrified me to think I might be hurting this little angel. _My_ little angel.

"It's just so good." He struggled to calm his breathing. "You're not hurting me, Tommy. Promise." 

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank whatever deity that happened to be listening. 

"Please kiss me Tommy," he begged.

"I've got you, sweetheart." I brushed away his tears, gently, and kissed him, my hand still caressing his cheek.

I found myself rocking into him, even gentler than before, and I reached down to stroke him. Not long after he came between us, moaning into the kiss. I came immediately at the feel of him tightening around me and collapsed, trembling, beside him. 

"Tommy," a breathless voice said.

"Shhh, sweetheart. I've got you." I managed to shift us around enough that his head was on my shoulder and my arms were around him, one hand stroking his soft golden hair. He sighed contentedly. 

He murmured something that I missed. 

"Hmm?" 

"Tha' was bloody perfect, Tommy." His accent was stronger than normal. I smiled. It was cute.

"Yeah." 

***

We must have fallen asleep, because next thing I knew I was waking up practically on top of Tommy. I blushed at the memories. Memories I would cherish for the rest of my life. Tommy had blown me away. 

"Hello, sleepyhead."

I looked up. Tommy had his "aww" smile on (reserved only for me when I thought I looked especially cute) and brushed my hair away from my forehead tenderly. 

"Mornin' Tommy," I replied. My voice was raspy. I cleared my throat, not surprised with all the noise I'd made last night. I'd never been that loud before.

"Feeling okay?"

"Yeah, really good actually."

He looked relieved. Oh. Yeah. Um. Probably ought to reassure him about that. I could only imagine how he'd felt, having no topping experience. 

"Uh, about the crying, Tommy, you really weren't hurting me. I was just...felt really...amazing," I trailed off. I wasn't able to meet his gaze, unsure of what he'd think.

"I'm glad," he said. "I got _very_ scared for a second there." His fingers in the my hair came to my chin, tilting it up to look at him. The sincerity I saw there almost hurt.

"Aww, Tommy, I'm okay. We'd really better shower though."

***

I was so incredibly relieved I almost felt dizzy. The sight of those tears streaking down his cheeks was something I didn't want to see again, even if they were pleasure-tears. It was just too heartbreakingly beautiful and too heartbreakingly sad. 

After a languid, gentle shower, we dressed and went down for breakfast. Newt had offered to make his world famous pancakes, and of course I wasn't going to refuse. You can imagine our shock when we found Sonya flipping pancakes in her pyjamas, a smug smile on her face. I vaguely heard "Shake It Off" in the background.

Newt went red and couldn't seem to look at anything properly. "H-How long have you been home?" he asked, the nervous tone quite evident. 

"Since I got home from school yesterday." 

Oh. OH. OH NO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. ;)


	6. Hey!

Newt's freaking _little sister_ had been home. There was no way she hadn't heard all that. I looked at Newt in a panic, but he'd buried his face in his hands with a whine.

"Don't worry, I didn't record it and I won't tell anyone." I looked at her incredulously. 

She burst out laughing. "Your face, Thomas! Calm down, you two! When I heard slamming doors and the first couple moans I put some headphones on and made a new playlist on Spotify. I didn't hear anything after that." She was being serious. "Well, once or twice Newt was a bit louder than the music, but that's all."

"That really doesn't help, Sonya," Newt said, utter embarrassment on his face as he looked at her. 

"Oh, come on, like I wasn't accidently going to hear you shagging sometime. It's happened before."

That struck a nerve. I mean, obviously Newt had been with someone before, but thinking about it hurt.

***

Newt and Thomas's faces when they saw me were priceless. I thought Thomas might faint, and Newt had never looked so ashamed in his life.

"H-How long have you been home?" he asked, voice cracking a little.

"Since I got home from school yesterday." 

Thomas's face went from "this is awkward" to "OH SHIT!" in a split second. Newt hid his face with a pitiful whine. 

I could help teasing them. The situation was just too much. "Don't worry, I didn't record it and I won't tell anyone."

Thomas looked at me, shellshocked. I laughed. 

"Your face, Thomas!" Okay, maybe I should stop now before Newt hid himself in a cave for the rest of his life. "Calm down, you two! When I heard slamming doors and the first couple moans I put some headphones on and made a new playlist on Spotify. I didn't hear anything after that. Well, once or twice Newt was a bit louder than the music, but that's all."

Newt looked up, even more embarrassed. "That really doesn't help, Sonya."

"Oh, come on, like I wasn't accidentally going to hear you shagging sometime. It's happened before." Oops. Shouldn't have said that. Really shouldn't have said that. Alby was an incredibly sensitive topic at any time, and Newt's boyfriend was here. 

I looked guiltily at said boyfriend, who looked bloody hurt and directed his gaze at the floor. 

"I, uh, I'll leave you two to talk it over. See you, Newt." He made for the door, and Newt was too busy staring at me, shocked, to notice. 

The door closing pulled him from his trance. He glanced towards the door with the same heartbroken expression he'd had when I gently broke it to him that Alby was cheating. 

"I'm so sorry," I breathed. "Oh my God Newt I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." 

"I-Well, it's...it's not like he, didn't know I'd had a boyfriend before. M-maybe he's just embarrassed." Newt was floundering for an explanation. "Should I go after him?"

"No, you'll end up fighting. Wait a few hours and call him."

I'd never felt so bad in my life. Newt trusted me, had since I could talk, and look what I'd done. I hardly noticed I'd burnt the pancake on the griddle.

***

I called him at lunchtime, needing to set things straight.

"Hello?"

He'd answered. Thank heavens. Now I had to figure out what to say.

"I-I'm really sorry about all this, Tommy. I had no idea she was home. I'm so sorry." I bit my lip, looking up at the ceiling from where I lay on my bed. 

"It's not your fault. I should've thought about it, to."

"We okay?"

***

The tiny "we okay?" almost broke my heart. 

"Of course we are, sweetheart," I said, surprising myself with the loving tone of my voice. Wait, loving? That sparked a whole new line of thought that I shoved away. I'd think about that later.

"Thank you." Before I could tell him he didn't need to thank me for nothing, he went on. "And I'm sorry about what she said about..."

"Hey, it's fine. Promise. I mean, I knew you'd had...a past relationship."

"I know, but that can't have been a very nice thing to hear. Especially the night after we had sex, which was mindblowing, by the way, and when our relationship is getting serious."

That sent little sparks shooting through every single vein and artery. He felt the same way I did and that made me feel so good.

"It's fine. Honestly Newt, everything's fine. We're fine." Impulsively I blurted, "Do you want to go see that movie tonight?"

***

I broke into a smile. "I'd love to."

"Okay, pick me up at six forty-five?"

"See you then, Tommy." This was going to be so much fun.

***

I decided I needed to tell my parents about Newt. If I had a boyfriend I was seeing frequently, I felt like they had a right to know. I had come out to them almost as soon as I'd realized I was gay, and they'd always supported me. So that wasn't what made me nervous. What made me nervous was that that would make all of this very real and offical. Not that Newt and I weren't serious about this, I mean, Newt had said so in his phone call. It just made me nervous.

I went into the living room, taking a couple deep breaths. Dad was watching TV and Mom was on her computer, probably blogging. 

"You guys busy?" I asked.

Mom closed her computer. "No, not really."

Dad looked up at me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just uh, have something I wanted to tell you." 

Mom smiled supportively. I was grateful they cared so much about me and supported me the way they did. I can't imagine what my life would be like if they hadn't. 

"I've met someone." 

Mom smiled again. "I know."

"What?" How...?

"Well, you haven't been very secretive about it, coming home grinning ear to ear and smiling at your phone constantly. Do you have any idea how long you were texting the other night?"

I blushed. "Oh."

"What's his name?" she asked. 

"Newt. Short for Newton, but he hates that." 

"Are you two...you know, official?" Mom asked, leaning forward. I kinda felt like I was being interrogated, but not in a bad way. Dad went back to his show with a smile that showed he was fine with it and would let Mom do the quizzing.

"Yeah." 

"That's great! How'd you meet?"

"Minho introduced us at that party a couple weeks ago." Not entirely a lie.

Mom, however, was smirking. "That night you" she made air quotes "slept over at a friends and forgot to text" Mm-hm."

I blushed. Uh-oh, how did I talk myself out of this one?

"Like last night."

Uh-oh. I was in deep shit now. My expression must have given me away even worse, becuase then she said,

"I thought so. I know it's no good telling you not to have sex with him, but be careful, okay?"

OhmyGodMomstopitrightnowPLEASE!!!! I thought. I looked over to Dad, who was ignoring the conversation. Can't say I blamed him.

"Mm-hm," I half-sqeaked.

"When do we get to meet him?"

"We're going out tonight, so maybe when he comes to pick me up." It was very difficult to look her in the eye. 

"Where are you going?" 

"The theater. Newt's been wanting to go see this movie for ages."

"Sounds like fun. So, tell me about him. What's he look like, where's he from, all that good stuff."

Well, I couldn't exactly tell my mom he was a drop dead gorgeous sexy blonde angel with molten chocolate eyes that were to die for, so I said "He's a year older than me, about my height, blonde, brown eyes, and he's slim. His family moved here from London a few years ago. He's got a little sister named Sonya, who's 15."

She grinned. "Not a very enthusiastic description, but it'll do. He's British?"

"Yes. He's got the cutest accent." Oops. Calm down. "I haven't met his parents yet."

"Well, I look forward to meeting him."

***

I trotted up the steps to the door of Tommy's house and knocked. I'd texted him to let him know I was on my way. 

"You must be Newt," the lady who opened the door said with a friendly smile. Tommy's mom, no doubt.

"Yes, ma'am. Is Tommy--Thomas--ready?"

"Just about. I think he's fretting over his clothes. Come in," she said, smiling. "I'm Anthea, by the way." 

"Nice to meet you," I said. I hadn't planned on meeting his parents just yet, but it was fine. 

A man, Tommy's father I assumed, came in. Anthea gestured to me with another smile. She seemed to do that a lot. It was nice.

"This is Thomas's boyfriend Newt." Ah, he'd told them. 

"Richard Murphy," he said, sticking a hand out.

"Nice to meet you, sir," I said, shaking it firmly while maintaining eye contact, just like Dad had taught me when I was little. 

We talked for a minute, basically routine questions about school and family, until I heard footsteps that sounded like someone bolting down the stairs and Tommy skidded into the room. blushing. 

"Sorry I'm late," he said breathlessly. 

"It's fine." I reassured him, smiling.

"We've had a lovely little chat. Well, you two had better be going or you'll miss your movie."

"It was nice to meet you," I said, shaking Mr. Murphy's hand again. 

"You boys have a good night!"

"Thanks, Mom!" Tommy called as we left the house.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find my shoes. They were under the bed somehow."

"It's fine, really. I like your parents. They're really nice."

We got to the theater a few minutes before the movie was supposed to begin and after I tried to talk Tommy out of paying for it all (he didn't give in) we sat down. 

***

I thought back to the morning as Newt and I sat down in the theater. I hadn't thought the day would end like this, and it relieved me that it had.

I'd walked home, the fresh air clearing my head quite effectively. I told myself that Newt's relationship with whoever it was was over, that he was with me now, and he couldn't change the past. I hadn't actually left because of that, but because the embarrassment was just too much to cope with. Now I regretted leaving Newt there alone. Who knew what he thought now. 

I curled up in bed with my headphones on, using Spotify to take my mind off things. I related to the chorus of Carly Rae Jepsen's "I Really Like You". Surely it was too soon to be in love. Was it love at first sight? That seemed awful sappy.

But, remembering how I'd felt this morning, before he'd woken up, and I'd just watched him peacefully sleeping on my chest, maybe I did love him. Maybe it was love at first sight.

That's certainly what it felt like when I was pulled back into the present by Newt taking my hand with a grin as the movie started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Sonya POV! I hope you enjoyed this one! Comments are very encouraging! *cough cough*


	7. Yeah, I Think You're Cute, But Really, You Should Know

When the movie ended I was laughing so hard Tommy practically had to carry me out. I hadn't seen a movie that funny in years.

"Oh, goodness," I breathed, trying to calm down a bit. "That was funny."

"Yeah, it really was," Tommy said, chuckling. He just had better control over his laughter than me, then.

"Do you want to go for coffee or a hot chocolate or something? My treat."

"Actually, Newt, let's do that tomorrow. I think you need to go home before you collapse from laughter."

"Good point." And then I started laughing again. When I calmed down Tommy was looking at me funny. "What?"

"You have got the absolute cutest laugh I've ever heard."

Well that set a new blush record for me. "Thanks."

When I dropped him off he leaned over for a kiss. 

"Thanks for the date," I murmured against his lips. 

"You're very welcome, sweetheart. Sleep well."

"You, too, Tommy."

I stopped the "love you" dead in it's tracks. It was too soon, and I wasn't going to scare Tommy off by seeming like an overeager lunatic. 

***

"Tom! I haven't seen you in ages! I got sick, like really bad. I'm better now, though," Teresa said, plopping down into the seat across from me. "Miss me?"

Actually, I forgot you existed, I thought.

"Yeah, it's good to see you." I glanced around for Newt. Still nowhere to be seen.

"So how are you liking school?"

"It's great. I've made quite a few friends."

"Any girls you like?" she asked, attempting to be sly.

"Nope, no girls," I said truthfully. I saw Newt in the doorway. "Be right back."

I walked up to him and he gave me a big smile. "Hey, Tommy."

"Kiss me," I said.

"What?"

"Kiss me."

"In the middle of the cafeteria?!"

I huffed in frustration and kissed him, hard, pushing him up against the wall. It took a moment for him to respond. 

I heard Teresa half-shout half-squeak, "OH MY GOD!" and pulled back.

"Thanks, Newt." I smiled at him.

He looked a bit dazed. "Yeah," he said weakly. 

I led him over to the table and sat down a lot closer to him than I normally would. I saw Sonya snickering with her friends back behind Teresa, who looked scandalized. 

"What?" I asked innocently. "Oh, this is my boyfriend, Newt."

"I have to go," she said quickly, and scuttled off to her friend Brenda, who hid her grin when she saw Teresa coming toward her.

"Oooh," Newt said, catching on. "That was Teresa, wasn't it?"

"Mm-hm. I doubt we'll be hearing from her again any time soon."

He laughed. "I doubt it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya again! Comments are much appreciated little things! Sorry for the short chapter, been busy.


	8. I Just Came to Say Hello

It was getting close to Christmas and I was stressing over what to get Tommy. I was mentally running through everything he'd ever told me for ideas.

I remembered the time he'd snogged me in the cafeteria to get Teresa off his back. She had avoided him like the plague after that, and now had a boyfriend, Aris. We shared a couple of mutual friends, but I'd never spoken to him.

That was the afternoon we'd gone to a new coffee shop Tommy's mum had recommended. Tommy and I both preferred our little shop, but it had been fun to try something new together.

I looked out the window. It was snowing pretty hard. I wondered what Tommy was doing. Probably getting himself soaked through making snow angels, knowing him. I smiled to myself. Then an idea came to me. I could get him a scarf that matched mine. He was always saying he loved that scarf.

My phone pinged and I picked it up eagerly. It was a text from Minho.

_How's life, slinthead?_

I rolled my eyes. Typical Minho.

_Life is snowy. You? ___

_Hmm...life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get._

I snorted. 

_I get it. Anything special you want for Christmas?_

_Nope, not really. But I need to tell you something._

_Ok, shoot._

_You're not gonna like it._

_Ok..._

_Alby's been hanging around Thomas._

I frowned.

_What do you mean? I would've noticed him._

_No, today. It's some girl I think likes Thomas's birthday, and she invited him to her party. He said he wouldn't go if I didn't, so I did, cuz she's a bit scary tbh. Anyway, he's here too._

__Why hadn't he asked me? I'm his boyfriend.

_Where are you?_

He texted the address and I got in my car. No one messes with my Tommy, especially not that bastard Alby.

***

The guy from the party was here and he just wouldn't leave me alone. I regretted coming, but Brenda was scary as all get out. I brought Minho to protect me. Some job he was doing, flirting with some guy. I'd seen him get his phone out a minute ago, but other than that said boy had all his attention.

Even Brenda couldn't keep him away. I was pretty sure she had a crush on me. I wondered how she didn't know I was with Newt. Speaking of said sexy blonde Brit, he was going to be pissed if he found out about this. Minho and I had planned to go Christmas shopping after the party, so I hadn't mentioned anything to him. I was bad enough at keeping secrets without having to lie about it. 

I'd tried telling the guy no, tried saying I had a boyfriend, and tried ignoring him, but nothing worked. He was trying to touch me now, and I crossed the room to talk to Minho. He followed at a distance/

"Can I have a heart attack so we can leave?" I asked quietly.

"No, news would spread and Newt really would have one, and then he'd never forgive you. You could, however, have a family emergency, no specific details mentioned."

The guy was hovering in the background again. He creeped me out. 

"Alby, I've already told you to keep the bloody fuck away from my boyfriend. I catch you within thirty feet of him again, even if by accident, and I'll call the cops with charges of harassment. I think everyone in this bloody shucking building can tell you're bothering him."

Holy shit. I was in big trouble now. It was Newt, confronting the guy. He looked mad. Really mad. Like, punch you--

\--In the face mad...He'd done it. He'd punched the guy when he started to turn away. That got everyone's attention. 

"Yes, I'm probably overprotective and overpossessive, but Tommy is my boyfriend and anyone who bothers him in any way will answer to me. That includes you, Brenda. I know what you think is going to happen if he hangs out with you enough, but being gay isn't something that just changes when you "meet the right girl". You have no idea how many people have tried that and failed."

She gaped at him.

He turned towards Minho and me, and I started to get nervous. Alby slunk away to the door.

"And _you_ , Minho, could've helped him out a bit. If you hadn't texted me, I'd probably punch you, too, but I'm trying to stay pretty calm right now. If I were you I wouldn't push me. Come on, Tommy."

He started towards the door and I quickly followed him. He was walking so fast to the mini that I almost had to jog to keep up. I got in and he started driving to who knows where. I held my tongue. 

He stopped at an ice cream place and I followed him in. He ordered for us and I found a seat, incredibly confused as to what was going on. He sat down across from me.

"You okay?" His voice held no trace of anger now, just concern.

"I, yeah. I'm...fine." I couldn't form proper sentences, surprised at how quickly he'd gone from angry momma bobcat to this.

"That's a relief. Now tell me, what were you doing there?" He just sounded curious.

I decided to just tell him the truth, Christmas shopping be damned. 

"Brenda invited me to the party and I was too much of a chicken to say no. Minho and I had planned to go Christmas shopping for you this afternoon and I wanted to keep it a secret, so I didn't tell you. I thought I could manage alright if Minho was there. I didn't know Alby was going to be there, or I wouldn't have gone. He creeps me out."

Newt stared at the table for a moment, then sighed.

"He didn't used to be like that. He was a nice guy. He...he's my ex-boyfriend. We were really close for a while, but he started to ignore me except for when he wanted someone to rant at and let off steam. Then Sonya found out he was cheating on me. We had a massive fight and broke up. Broke my heart until I met you. He changed, too, and not in a good way."

Oh. I reached out and put my hand over Newt's. 

"I'm sorry."

He smiled, only a little sadly. "Don't be. If it hadn't happened we wouldn't be together. Everything works itself out eventually."

I smiled. "Now how'd you know my favorite ice cream?"

"I guessed. I can always guess people's favorite ice cream."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG he's gonna die, guys. Read the parental advisory guide for TDC on IMDB if you want the proof. I don't know if I can take it. If you write too, start some sickeningly fluffy Newtmas cuz I'm gonna need it.


	9. Hello, Hello, Hello, Oh-oh-oh-oh

Tommy and I shifted subjects effortlessly. It was a relief. I hadn't told him the complete truth, and I wasn't ready to yet. I would with time, believe me, just not yet. The only people who knew the truth, well, that I was close to, anyway, were my parents, Sonya, and Minho.

"Newt, I really can't believe that you don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream."

"Better believe it, because I don't. I like butter pecan." I laughed. "Are you busy tonight?"

"No. Plans?"

"Yes, but it's a secret. I'll come get you when it gets dark."

"Ooh, a secret date in the dark. Sounds promising." He wiggled his eyebrows. 

I rolled my eyes. "Not like that, Tommy. "

"Sure about that?"

"Yes." Well, maybe not now, but I had been.

I took Tommy home after we finished our ice cream and hesitated before giving him a deep, apologetic kiss. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier." 

"It's fine. At least I got to see your protective momma bobcat side."

I raised an eyebrow, amused but hiding it. "My what?"

"You heard me. See you tonight," he said, hopping out of the car. 

Now I just had to entertain myself for hours and hours and hours until it got dark. I also needed to control my anticipation and not pace the whole time. 

I managed to immerse myself in my homework enough to keep my mind off of my planned trip. At six o'clock I got some blankets and put them in the backseat of the mini, and also gathered up some snacks and a couple thermoses of hot chocolate. This was going to be sappy and cliche but I thought Tommy would have fun.

Finally, FINALLY, I hopped in the mini after texting Mum that I was going out. Tommy was waiting on the curb. 

"Where ya headed, sailor?" I asked through the rolled down window. 

He laughed. "Where are we going, actually?"

I held out a scarf. "Blindfold yourself. No peeking!"

"Great, my boyfriend is kidnapping me in the middle of the night.'

"It's hardly six thirty, Tommy."

He tied the scarf around his head. "How do I look?"

I snickered. "Fabulous. You should be a model. Hope that jacket's warm."

"It is. Can't you give me the tiniest hint where we're going?"

"Nope." 

"Newt," he whined.

"Tommy," I whined back.

He pouted. I shook my head fondly. I wondered how I'd ended up with this boy after everything life had thrown at me.

"Hey, Newt, what do you call a fake noodle?"

"What?"

"An impasta."

"Haha." 

"Oh, come on, that was a good one."

"Why do vegetarians give good head?" I countered.

"I don't know."

"Because they're used to eating nuts."

Tommy actually laughed. And continued laughing until I stopped the car. 

"Can I take the blindfold off now?"

"No, not yet. Be patient, Tommy."

"It's hard to with you moaning underneath me."

I blushed. "I'm not, so don't worry."

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"Shut up. Wait here just a minute." I got the blankets out of the back and found a good spot to spread them out. This was my favorite little patch of meadow on the edge of the woods just outside town. I set the basket of snacks on top and went back to guide a blindfolded Tommy to the blankets.

"Watch your step there, there's a rock."

"Thanks. How far are we going?"

"We're there. You can take the blindfold off now." I sat down on the blanket.

He looked delighted when he took the blindfold off. "Food!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, it's food."

He looked around. "And the river, and lots of trees, and the nearly-full-moon, and lots of stars, and an angel."

"An angel?"

He pointed at me. "Yep. Right there."

I blushed again.

"You really have no idea how cute you look when you blush, do you?"

"Tommy, stop it."

He knelt down, hovering over me with that really intense, sexy gaze of his until I was ready to let him take me right here and now. Then he lay down about a foot away from me. I scooted towards him, muttering, "Such a bloody tease," under my breath. He chuckled and put an arm around my, letting me use his shoulder as a pillow. 

"Do you know any constellations?" he asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

I smiled. "Yeah, Mum taught me a lot in England."

"I still haven't met her. I'm starting to think you and Sonya live there alone."

"Oh no, you found us out," I said dramatically, earning a classic Tommy chuckle. "You should come over for dinner soon. I'll find out her work schedule tomorrow."

"That sounds great, but only if you have dinner at my house soon."

"Agreed."

We lay there on the picnic blanket in the dark for a long time, enjoying the moonlight reflecting off the snow, each other's company, and the silence of the world around us. It wasn't very cold, but we were still happy I'd brought the hot chocolate. Well, I was anyway. Tommy seemed to enjoy the mint Oreos more. 

"I thought you'd like those. Sonya's going to kill me when she finds out I took them. They're her cookie of choice."

"Well, you can tell her you have a very appreciative boyfriend, if that helps any. And not just appreciative of the cookies," he said, gaze raking over me. "Very appreciate of the sexy, naturally blonde boyfriend as well."

"Tommy," I said half-heartedly. Blushing was just my thing now, I supposed.

"You getting cold over there? Cause I know a good way to warm you up," he whispered in my ear, hot breath making my heart rate pick up and my breath catch. He chuckled. "Mm-hm, I think you _are_ cold. And wearing too many layers."

He slipped a hand under my sweater and pulled it off. I huffed.

"You haven't even kissed me."

"'M not going to. Not yet," he said, working on the buttons of my shirt. "You need to quit wearing these. They're too hard to take off."

"You like it when I wear them, though, and you know it. In fact, you said this shirt was one of your favorites of mine."

He held a finger to my lips. "Much too talkative right now."

I licked at his finger, but he pulled it away. "Quit being such a tease!"

"Shh."

I huffed again before helping him get my shirt off. Now I was shivering. 

"Bloody hell, Tommy, get a move on."

He chuckled again, but hurried up a bit. Finally he got his own jacket and shirt off, and then started to work on my pants. He had me stark naked and shivering with cold and anticipation a moment later.

Instead of stripping himself down he took my in his mouth, making me gasp with surprised pleasure. His tongue was sinfully skilled at this, alternating kitten licks and broad swipes that had me coming undone much too quikcly. My hands were in his hair just to encourage him, not to guide. I let him have his way with me, giving in the the moans rising up in my throat. After a while, though, I knew he needed to stop a minute and catch his breath, so I gently pulled him off.

"Breathe, Tommy. You're gonna pass out."

He complied, replacing the wet heat of his mouth with his hand. 

"You're much too good at that for your first time," I panted, back arching a bit at the attention.

"I've been practicing."

I glared at him, suddenly terrifically jealous of whoever it was. Jealous enough to punch them if I knew who it was. Tommy was mine.

"With a toy, Newt, and it wasn't near as good as this."

Now I felt silly, but Tommy's hand leaving me to fumble with the fly of his pants distracted me. Soon he was leaning over me, just far enough away that I couldn't kiss him. I tried to lean up, but he moved away.

"Be patient, Newt," he said, using my words from earlier.

"Tommy! Please!"

"Not yet," he said, fishing in the pocket of his jacket. He pulled out some lube and a condom.

"Bloody hell, Tommy. Not fair making plans like this on what's supposed to be me taking you on a date."

"Say it's a mutual date, then."

"Whatever, just hurry up already."

"You accent gets stronger when you're aroused. It's hot."

"I don't bloody care right now, Tommy."

He prepped me quickly but thoroughly, then finally eased my burning need for him. He waited for me to tell him it was okay, then took me to the world of bliss I'd been to once before. This time, the bite of the chilly breeze made us press closer together and emphasized the warmth of his body. It was bloody wonderful. Tommy was the only one who could take me apart like this. It was almost enough to make me belive in soulmates and all that rubbish.

Now if he'd just bloody kiss me. I must have said that aloud, because he chuckled and sped up, but still wouldn't kiss me. It was driving me mad. Before long I was begging for just a taste of his lips. He denied me right up until I brokenly told him I was going to come, and then kissed me hard enough I thought it would bruise, tongue slipping eagerly into my mouth. It was rough and sloppy and exactly what I bloody needed right now. I came so hard I nearly passed out, holding Tommy's shoulders in a death grip. Tommy was right behind me. Knowing I could make him feel that good gave me a glorious feeling that, in it's own way, was just as good as the orgasm.

We lay panting in each others arms for a few moments, just looking into each other's eyes. I could get eternally lost in Tommy's beautiful eyes quite happily.

"Bloody tease," I said breathily, pressing my forehead to his..

He chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose. "But I'm your bloody tease."

I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been ten bloody days since I updated this. I am so sorry. Time flew away with me.


	10. I'm Not the Kind of Girl to Get Messed Up With You

Newt looked angelic with the moonlight shining on his bare skin. However, I tossed him his clothes, knowing he would start to get cold quickly.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, hot stuff."

He didn't even try to protest, but I could tell he was blushing. How did I get this lucky? He's absolutely _gorgeous,_ and he's mine.

"Tell me a secret," Newt said, flopping back down on my shoulder and snuggling up to me.

"I think I love you." Shit, where did that come from?!

He looked up at me and smiled brilliantly. "I think I love you, too."

I stared at him, trying to process that. He chuckled and sat up to kiss me very softly. He then lay back down and closed his eyes with a happy little smile.

"Newt."

"Shh, Tommy. It's all good." He ran his hand up and down my chest. "It's all good."

***

Tommy had said he thought he loved me. I just wanted to kiss him forever and ever, but I contented myself with one sweet little kiss and listening to his heartbeat. He had panicked a bit and was still calming down.

I needed to tell him, very very soon.

We eventually got cold enough we decided to go home, and I walked Tommy to the door, loving the soreness from our lovemaking. 

"Goodnight, Tommy." I said, pulling him into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around me, hands warm on the small of my back.

"Goodnight, little angel."

We kissed, deep and slow and perfect. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered, slowly pulling away and walking back to my car. 

It wasn't until I got home that I realized I was wearing Tommy's shirt.

***

I woke up to the blaring of my alarm and shut it off quickly. I was still wearing the clothes from last night. I must have fallen asleep while thinking about Newt's reaction to my accidental almost love confession. It was a good reaction, one that made me smile widely even now.

I blinked and looked at the clock. I'd been laying here lost in thought for fifteen minutes. Oh, great. I rushed through a shower and scrambled downstairs, having grabbed yesterday's clothes since they were closest. Mom was ironing in the kitchen and I begged her to at least run the iron over my shirt while I ate breakfast. She did so, and handed it to me with a smirk as I wolfed down some cereal.

"You were back late last night."

"Date with Newt."

"So I guessed. I like that shirt."

"Thanks," I said, frowning slightly. What was so special about the shirt? She'd probably bought it for me herself. I buttoned it up as quickly as I could and rushed out the door a few moments later. 

Newt was waiting for me at the curb, and Minho was already in the front seat. Darn, I'd been too slow.

"Sorry, overslept," I half-lied as I jumped into the back. Sonya took a good look at me and smirked. "What?"

"Nothing. I like that shirt."

Again with the shirt! I looked down at it to figure out what was so special about it...oh...

I looked up to the rearview mirror and saw that Newt was suppressing a grin. It was my turn to blush now. 

***

Tommy wore my bloody shirt. I felt incredibly possessive and happy that he'd done so. I was tempted to let him keep it.

We had a Pre-Calculus test that day and I felt pretty confident about it. I saw Tommy again at lunch and hugged him hard.

"Looks good on you," I said, plucking at the material of the shirt.

"Shut up."

"I'm glad you wore it. Sonya's forgotten about the Oreos in favor of teasing me."

"No I haven't," she said, sitting down next to me. "I just expect you to replace them next time you go to the store."

"Fine, I'll replace the Oreos," I huffed. 

"Thanks Newtie."

I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. "Sonya, if you don't want me to share the Miyoko party story, I suggest you stop calling me that."

"You wouldn't." She looked at me seriously.

"I would." I turned towards Tommy. "You see-"

"Okay, okay, fine. I'll stop."

I smirked and whispered to Tommy, "Knew that would work."

He smiled at me absently. I put an arm around his waist and leaned my head against his.

"I'm very happy with you, Tommy. I just wanted to make sure you knew. You're really special to me, like I said last night."

"You're special to me, too."

"Hey, Tom," Teresa said, sitting down across from him nervously. I looked over to Sonya, surprised, but she was looking at me with a sad smile.

"I'm glad," she mouthed. 

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and busied myself eating, even ignoring Thomas and Teresa's conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I've gotten spiderbit and have to go the ER. I may not be able to update for a little while....


	11. Imma Let You Try an' Convince Me To

As I walked to my appointment with Doctor Paige I thought about things a bit. I'd loved how Tommy had taken control the night before. He'd taken me apart in a way no one else ever had, and he hadn't been pushy about it. That made me feel special. I hadn't felt special in several months, and I knew Doctor Paige would be pleased to hear it.

I knocked on Doctor Paige's office door and heard a muffled "Come in."

Her blonde hair was in its usual bun and she wore the same dark lipstick she always had, ever since I first met her. She smiled at me and gestured for me to sit down.

"So, Newt, how are you doing?"

"I'm great!" I said enthusiastically. "Things have really picked up. I've got a boyfriend who makes me genuinely happy. His name's Thomas, but I call him Tommy."

"That's good to hear. How does he measure up as a boyfriend?"

"He's wonderful. He cares about me, and he's always there. We go out all the time and he insists on paying for things, even when it's a date I'm supposed to be taking him on. He's adorable, and he doesn't even try to be, which makes him even cuter," I gushed. "He said he loved me yesterday." Well, thought he did, but what he meant was "I love you." The "I think" was a formality and we both knew it.

"And do you believe him?"

"I trust Tommy with my life," I said by way of reply.

She smiled. "So you're sure about him? No worries?"

"No worries at all. He's too innocent and genuinely sweet to doubt."

"Has he met your family?"

"Just Sonya, and they get along splendidly. I'm hoping to invite him over for dinner soon so he can meet Mum and Dad. I've met his parents, and they seem like nice people."

"That's good. I trust Sonya's judgement, and I'm glad he makes you happy. It's a good sign. Are you two in a sexual relationship?"

I blushed. "Yeah."

"And how does he treat you?" It was an important question, but one that I had no trouble answering honestly, although the details were a little personal.

"He's very careful of me. He let me take him our first time, and it was his first first time." My blush intensified. "Alby never did that. It makes me feel safe with him, knowing he trusts me with himself, and doesn't just demand that he have me."

"That is good. I'd say this is a perfectly heathy relationship, and one I wish you the best of luck with. He sounds like a special person. I'm happy for you, Newt. Does he know the full extent of what happened?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Soon. Maybe even tomorrow. I know it isn't right not to tell him, and I feel bad for having let things go this far without having told him the complete truth, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I've never told anyone but Minho."

She nodded. "It won't be easy, but it's a big step in the right direction. You need to take a leap of faith."

"I know. I'm just concerned about how he'll take it." I sighed heavily.

***

My phone pinged. It was a text from Newt.

_Can we go out tomorrow after school? I need to tell you something. <3_

I wondered what he wanted to tell me and prayed that he wasn't breaking up with me. The heart seemed to suggest otherwise, but still...

_Like a romantic proposal date? ;)_

_It's really not something to joke about, Tommy._

I gave in to my worries.

_You aren't breaking up with me, are you?_

_NO!!!!!! Of course not!!!!! I love you, remember?_

My breath caught. He'd said it. He'd really said it.

_Tommy?_

_I love you, too._

_ <3 I'm sorry I can't tell you more now, but it's something I absolutely have to say in person. I promise I'm not breaking up with you, though. Nothing like that. You'll understand why I actually couldn't do that tomorrow._

This puzzled me. He was being awfully cryptic. I hoped nothing was wrong.

_The suspense is killing me._

_I'm sure. You can keep that shirt, by the way. Looks better on you ;)_

_Shut up._

_TTYL, Tommy._

_Mmkay. Love you!_

_Love you, too._

***

The next day we were walking along the pond at the library, coffees in hand. Newt sat down on a bench and patted the spot next to him, which I quite willingly filled.

"So..." I trailed off.

"Tell me what you know about my relationship with Alby," he said, staring out over the frozen pond at the few (stupid) ducks who had stuck around.

"Well, uh," the question surprised me. "You used to be close, then he started to drift away and you found out he was cheating and had a bad breakup."

"You make it sound so bloody simple," he said, tone bitter. "All of that is true, but there's more to it. Minho, Sonya, my parents, and Doctor Paige are the only people who know. Doctor Paige is my therapist."

What? Newt had a therapist? I wondered what had happened to my little angel. He had my full attention now.

"Alby did drift away, when I said that I wasn't interested in some of the stuff he wanted to do with me, if you catch my drift."

I nodded, fear growing. Alby hadn't... _raped_ Newt, had he?!

"When he was around, he...he guilt tripped me into complying. He always made sure it was consensual. I have this...need, sort of, to please people I'm close to. I'm very protective, sometimes possessive, I try to always be there when someone needs me, and I feel _really_ bad when I disappoint someone. Like, more than normal. So it's easy to take advantage of me that way. I ended up getting hurt, literally. He wasn't gentle, and he turned out to be a bit of a sadist."

I scooted closer and put an arm around him, silently vowing never to hurt him in any way. I'd never even teasingly pinch him. My poor little kitten.

"I got depressed, and I wanted to leave him so many times, but then he'd do something really sweet and thoughtful, or he would take care of me, and I'd decide to give him another chance. And sometimes he would say things. He'd tell me I was lucky to have him and that no one else would want anything to do with me. He almost branded it into my brain that I didn't deserve what kindness he showed me."

I was now hugging him so tight I was almost sure it was hurting him. I backed off a bit to look at him properly. He didn't meet my eyes.

"My sister found out about it. She saw the bruises. I managed to make some excuses, but it didn't work for long. By the time she really understood what was going on, she'd found out he was cheating. She told me, and it nearly destroyed me. It took me another week to confront him about it, and he got mad at me. I hate remembering that night. But eventually I caught him in the act. We had a massive fight and broke up. He said some very hurtful things, and I believed them. I'm surprised I had the courage to get out of the situation. It broke my heart, and I was severely depressed. Sonya told Mum and Dad, and when I wouldn't talk to them, they sent me to Doctor Paige. I've been seeing her since the week after it happened. It's because of her that I told Minho. She said I needed a confidant outside my family. He was supportive, and encouraged me to get out and see people. But I didn't go about that the way he would've liked. I started going to parties, putting a brave, flirtatious mask on, and leaving before I could get too attached to anyone."

Now he looked at me, and the pain and suppressed fear in his eyes rocked me to the core.

"And then I met you, with your cute smile, and you were all shy and innocent. I felt like I could trust you. I'd been alone for so long, but you were different. I was still scared, but not really that you'd hurt me. I was more worried about unintentionally hurting you. And things escalated from there. Now I'm happier than I have been in months, yesterday was the first time I've seen Doctor Paige since we got together, and...I don't know. It just feels right." He bit his lip and I thought he might cry. "And I had to tell you because it wouldn't be right not to, and I understand if you want to break up, I really do. I want you to know I'm grateful for the time we've had together and I'll always love you, Tommy. You pretty much brought me back to life. And I'll miss you, but I hope we can still be friends."

"Newt."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you right off, I should've and I know it. I'm sorry. It was selfish of me. I didn't want you to leave because of it, and now I've led you on and I'm sure you're mad at me, and you have every right to be. I lied to you. I'm sorry."

"Newt."

"Thank you for hearing me out, Tommy. I know I don't have any right to ask this, but please don't tell anyone. I don't want it to get around. I appreciate all the time you've given me. I loved every second of it and you will always be my favorite memory. I'll miss you."

"Newt."

"I-"

I cut him off with a kiss. I didn't think he'd even heard me trying to talk to him, he'd been so caught up in apologizing and thanking me. I caressed his cheek as I kissed him, keeping it as slow and sweet as I could. My poor, brave little angel. I loved him. I truly did, and nothing would ever change that. Certainly not this. If anything I loved him more. He was so strong, and sweet, and open despite it all. I was proud to have been a good influence.

I very slowly pulled back, whispering, "I love you," against his lips. 

He had tears in his eyes and a disbelieving expression on his face. I kissed him again, just to reassure him that this was real. 

"I love you and I'm so proud of you. So proud, Newt." I brushed away the tears.

"You...you aren't leaving me?"

"Did you really think I would, sweetheart?" I asked gently. He nodded. I hugged him, pulling him as close as I could. "I don't think I could ever leave you, Newt, especially not now. We mean too much to each other, don't we?" 

He held me back, holding back a sob. 

"Hey, shh. I'm here. It's okay. I love you."

"Thank you, Tommy."

"You don't have to thank me for not breaking up with you, sweetheart." I said, rocking us back and forth.

"No, I'm thanking you for listening, understanding, and not thinking less of me because of it." He chuckled. "And for the hug. You give great hugs."

"Thanks. And you're welcome, but I really think all those are prerequisites for being a boyfriend, don't you?" 

"I think you're the most perfect person on the planet." 

"I think that's you." I pulled back and kissed the tip of his nose. "You are the sweetest, cutest person I have ever met."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, that happened....sorry not sorry. There will be no more darkness, though! Lots of happiness now!


	12. It's Alright, I'm Getting Dizzy

I had not expected Tommy to take it so well. I loved him so bloody much. He took me home after that and we made love. Sweet, gentle love because everything was okay. Tommy still loved me and wasn't going to leave me. I wondered how I thought he would. Like he'd said, we meant too much to one another. I didn't think that was a bad thing, either.

I'd promised myself I'd never go and get attached to someone again, and here I was panting and moaning in Tommy's bed. Tommy was different. He was gentle and honest. Alby never had been. Alby had always had that element of secrecy. Not mystery; secrecy, in a deceptive sort of way. Perhaps that was what had attracted me to him at first, but I had come to realize that it wasn't a good thing. Tommy, on the other hand, had never given me reason to mistrust him.

Tommy took me on dates and gave me hugs and smiles and helped me with my homework. Tommy always made sure I was okay. Tommy always gave me a kiss goodbye. Tommy gave me a reason to smile.

I snuggled up in his arms, too weak at the moment to do anything else. He kissed my forehead and pet my hair with one hand, the other arm firmly around my waist. He liked to do that. Whenever we stood next to each other somewhere he always slipped an arm around my waist. I loved it.

I felt like I belonged to Tommy. In a good way. The best way. Tommy was my everything, and I always felt safe and loved with him. I hadn't ever felt that way before. 

I shook off my thoughts, returning to the physical world, where I was still coming down from the pleasure-high. My phone rang, spoiling the moment. I groaned. It was Mum's ringtone, though, so I couldn't ignore it.

"Mum?"

"Newt, sweetie, where are you?"

"Tommy's house, why?"

"I think we need to have a talk. Can you come home, please?"

"Is everything okay? Is it Sonya? Dad? Mum, what's wrong?" 

I sat bolt upright. If anything had happened to Sonya...

"No, everything's fine. Calm down. We just need to have a family talk is all. Can you come home now?"

I looked over to Tommy, who looked concerned. He rubbed my shoulder comfortingly. 

"Okay. I'm on my way," I sighed.

"Okay. See you soon."

I hung up and sighed again.

"Everything okay?"

"Mum wants me to come home for some sort of family meeting. I have to go. I'm sorry, Tommy."

"Hey, it's fine. Really."

I smiled at him and went to wash up quickly. 

Tommy gave me the usual goodbye kiss and off I went. 

Mum, Dad, and Sonya were all sitting on the couch in the living room, which left me the armchair. It gave the feel of an interrogation. I sank into the chair, glancing back and forth between them. Sonya smirked, seeing right through my mussed up hair and slightly flushed appearance. Blast. She knew. 

"Newt, we'd like to meet this boyfriend of yours," Mum said, cutting to the chase.

"Okay. Dinner Friday?" I asked. 

She looked a little surprised.

"Well, I was going to ask you about that tonight, anyway," I said. "Glad we got that over with. What's up?"

"We want to talk to you about him."

"Mum--"

"--No. We need you to understand this is about your safety and wellbeing."

I rolled my eyes. This was bloody ridiculous.

"Mum, look at me. When's the last time I looked like this? Hm? I'm actually sleeping, I have motivation and energy again, my grades are back up where they should be. Do you really think I'm not bloody ecstatic with him? I love him, Mum. You can't change that, and Tommy would never hurt me." 

"That's what you thought about Alby," Dad said. 

"He's nothing like Alby, and I don't ever want to hear you compare him to that bastard again!" I all but yelled. 

"Newt!" Mum scolded. 

I glared at her, fuming. 

"Mum, Thomas and I are good friends. He wouldn't hurt Newt. They're so sappy and cute together. Really, I don't think this is anything we need to talk about. Newt's moved on, found a really nice person, and they're happy. Isn't that good enough? He already wanted you to meet him. It's not like he's hiding anything or keeping him a secret." 

I bloody loved Sonya. This sparked a huge argument, though, and I got madder and madder.

***

_Tommy?_

I smiled. Of course he'd texted me. He always did around this time of day.

_Hey <3 Everything alright? _

_Not really. Mum and Dad made me bloody furious saying I shouldn't get too involved with you because of what happened with Alby. They were upset I told you about that and bloody nearly said they don't trust my judgement when it comes to relationships. I have a horrible headache._

_Try pressing the tips of your index fingers into your temples and holding your breath for twenty seconds. I'm sorry to hear that. Are we okay?_

_Okay, I'll give it a try. Of course we're bloody okay! If I have to bloody elope with you, I will. I'm not letting them talk me out of being with you. I know of a little abandoned house along the river we could live in._

_We're not really eloping, are we?_

_No, but I would._

I couldn't help the grin. He was so cute. 

_Love you._

_Love you too. That trick actually helped. Wonder why._

_I dunno. I thought it was just me it worked on. None of my other friends had any luck with it._

_Hm. Maybe we have some sort of mental thing and that's why we made such a good couple._

_Haha._

_Well, we might. We do look awful cute together, you know. Even Sunny says so._

_I think that's mostly because you're adorable._

_Aww, you're so sweet. BTW, what did Teresa want the other day? I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention._

_Oh, yeah! I forgot to tell you about that. She just hung out like we were best friends or whatever and talked at me. I had no idea what she was talking about most of the time. Some book series. But she wants us to be friends, I guess._

_And are you gonna be?_

_I don't know. She was really pushy about the whole "be my boyfriend" thing. And then she avoided me for ages when she found out about us. She seems like the type who changes her mind a lot and then comes back expecting to be bffs still._

_To be fair, Tommy, you did snog me in front of half the bloody school with no warning. I'm sure she was a bit shellshocked._

_Snog. You're so British. You do have a point though._

_You love it and you know it. ;)_

_Can't deny the accent's pretty hot._

_You're pretty hot._

_Pretty hot? I'm offended._

_Hotter than bloody hell. Better?_

_Much, thanks._

_I've got to go have supper with that lot. I'll text you later._

_OK sweetie. Love you._

_< 3_

***

Supper was awful. We basically sat and glared at each other. As if the argument earlier hadn't been enough. Bloody hell, I'd be glad to move out. I did love my mum and dad, and of course I love Sonya, but living with Mum and Dad was a bit more difficult. Sonya and I worked things out eventually, but whenever I had a problem with Mum or Dad, it seemed like we held grudges for years. 

They hadn't even met Tommy, and they were making judgements. It was upsetting to say the least. I had had enough. I set my fork down abruptly. 

"Look, Tommy's nothing like Alby. He never has been. He's open and honest and he loves me. We're inseparable and it's a mutual thing. It's not me following him around like a lost puppy and hoping for an occasional hug or kind word. He genuinely wants to spend time with me. He's never hurt me. One time he thought he had and if you'd seen the worry on his face you'd know how good a person he is. He's the opposite of Alby, and I love him. You'll meet him Friday and you'll see what I mean."

"Newt, you thought Alby was the best thing that had ever happened to you, too. We know what your relationship with him was like. You may not be able to tell what a healthy relationship is and isn't. We're just trying to look after you. We love you," Mum said. "I don't want you to get hurt again. We all know what that was like. Newt, he may not be all you think he is. People are complicated and they have so many sides to them. You've only known him for a very short while. I don't want you getting too involved until--"

"--I'm not hungry." I stood up and went upstairs, ignoring their calls to come back. I locked the door and flopped onto the bed, groaning. I grabbed my phone.

_Tommy, bring your whole bloody family to dinner Friday night._

Whatever, Mum. You'll meet his whole bloody family and you'll be the uncomfortable one. Take that!

_OK. They're that suspicious of me?_

_No, I'm proving a point. They don't know, they only expect you, but I'll make sure there's plenty to go around. :)_

_What happened?_

_The bloody shanks are being stubborn and saying they don't want me getting too involved with you because they think my judgement is clouded by my past with Alby. I'd bloody annoying._

_Sorry._

_DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE APOLOGIZE. I'm sick and tired of their attitudes, it has nothing to do with you, it's the fact that I have a boyfriend. I'd better stop before we have a fight. I love you._

_I love you, too, Newt. Always._

***

Newt was upset, I could tell. I felt bad that I was the cause of it, even if the problem wasn't me directly, just an abstract such as having a boyfriend, like he'd said. I wanted to call him or at least go over and cuddle him, but I knew I couldn't. He was too upset to talk and going over to his house would mess plans up. So I went and asked my parents if they could make it to dinner at Newt's on Friday night to meet his parents.

"Of course, sweetie. We'd love to," was Mom's reply. I texted this information to Newt, who texted "Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow love."

I went to bed with a pleasant smile and Newt's shirt. I had kept it after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved TDC but yes, I did cry. The ending was just....if you've seen it you understand.


	13. Just Enjoy the Party

The next day Newt came to pick Minho and I up a lot earlier than usual.I thought I was running late until I realized he'd actually parked and was coming up to the house. I paused my rushed breakfast and went to let him in. He hugged me for a long time, face buried in my shoulder. I rubbed his back, more than a little worried about him. He never came in in the mornings. 

"You okay?" I asked, hesitantly. 

He sighed, pulling away. "Yeah, last night was tough, but I'm okay now."

"Do you need anything?"

"Hello, Newt! Good to see you, and thank you for the invitation. We'd love to come to dinner," Mom said, coming into the room.

Newt smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm glad you can make it."

"Well, I'll let you boys get back to your conversation. I've got to get to work now. Have a good day at school!" 

"Thank you."

After the door closed he turned back to me. "Well, I do know of something that might help."

"What?"

He kissed me, deeply. I was not prepared for that this early in the morning and moaned. Damn, Newt could kiss. I mean, I knew that already, but I was reminded of it every time. His hands slipped under my shirt, coming to rest on my chest. I leaned into the touch. Moments later he pulled back. 

"Thanks, Tommy." 

"What?" I was still a bit disoriented.

"Thanks for always being here for me."

"Newt, you don't have to thank me. That's just part of being a proper boyfriend." To me, it was as simple as that. You had a partner, you looked after them. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. 

"It's still a good feeling to know that even when things are tough you're always there. It means a lot to me. Even Sonya is put out with them now. She stuck up for us, and they pretty much ignored her."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't figure out what was going on with Alby." Sonya had materialized in the kitchen somehow. I wondered how long she'd been here. "I thought everything was picture perfect between them until that day I accidentally caught Newt changing and saw all the bruises. And then I noticed how depressed he really was. And then I didn't go straight to them with the news. In their eyes, I'm just as untrustworthy in their eyes as Newt when it comes to boyfriends. They hardly trust me to find my own bloody boyfriend without them doing a background check."

"What about Dr. Paige? Can't she vouch for your sanity or whatever?"

"She only knows what I told her, which is what I told my parents. Bringing her into it wouldn't do any good, honestly."

"What if you take me to meet her?" 

He looked skeptical. "You want to meet my therapist?"

"Well, then she'd know for sure that whatever you told her was true or untrue, and could talk to your parents. If they don't believe you and Sonya put together, I don't know if meeting me and my parents is going to do any good. Having her on our side would be good." 

"He's got a point, Newt." 

"Alright. I'll give her a call at lunch and see if we can arrange something for tomorrow. Maybe I'll just invite her to the bloody dinner. I can tell your parents she's a family friend, which isn't a lie." 

"Your parents may ground you if this dinner gets any worse for them."

"The only reason I'd bloody care is that I wouldn't be able to see you."

"Newt, we're going to be late. Minho's at the curb."

"Okay, you go tell him we'll be there in a second." 

"Look, you've already had one snog today and it's barely seven thirty. Come on. I don't think you or Thomas will die if you delay this snog till lunch or between classes or whatever you do at school. I know you two get up to something."

Newt sighed. "Fine. Come on, Tommy. She's clearly trying to break us up."

"As if. After all the trouble I went to defending you two yesterday."

"Yes. I'm going to buy your supply of mint Oreos for three months."

"You don't have to do that, Newt." 

"What are you shanks up to?" 

"Plotting against you," Newt said sullenly. "Get in. Tommy gets shotgun." 

Despite Minho's grumbling, Newt insisted on me riding beside him and holding my hand the entire way, thumb rubbing gentle circles on the back of it.

"What are you shanks doing for Christmas?" Minho asked. 

"Tommy and I are running away from home to go live at the North Pole. Same as bloody always, Minho, family reunion I'm really not in the mood for right now."

"You could spend Christmas with us," I offered shyly. "We usually have a quiet day with lots of candy and old black and white holiday movies." 

"Like Holiday Inn?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's one of my favorites."

"Mine too! I love those old tap dancing movies. I'm totally spending Christmas with you."

"You're certainly welcome to."

***

Newt was upset, I was upset, Mum was upset, Dad was upset. We were all upset, and Newt had sneakily invited Thomas's parents to dinner as well. Probably a good idea. Mum and Dad might just have scared him off grilling him, otherwise. Having Dr. Paige come too was a good idea. Thomas was smart. I liked him. If he weren't my brother's boyfriend and as straight as a circle I might've dated him myself. 

Poor Newt. He'd actually found a keeper, and Mum and Dad were trying to spoil it. I didn't blame them for worrying, though. Newt had been between a rock and a hard place with Alby. He'd finally chosen the rock and had gotten out, but only with my urging. Mum and Dad hadn't found out for a long time, and even then Newt hadn't really listened to them. It had been such a mess. 

Newt had told me that Alby only did it out of love, that it was his way of showing affection. There was no shucking way that what Newt went through was affection. Affection was holding hands and staring at each other with sappy smiles. I saw that every day with Thomas and Newt.

They loved each other and were clearly physical about that, too. As if I didn't notice when Newt came home glowing. He never glowed coming home from Alby's. He always rushed up to his room and hid for hours.I was glad Thomas treated him well. I liked to remember his face when I'd threatened him the day we met. He looked like he was expecting it but was also terrified. It had taken him a while to trust me after that, but we were friends now. We texted sometimes, when he wasn't busy texting Newt or the two of them were out on a date. 

I wondered if Newt had told him the _entire_ entire truth. I was starting to think maybe not. I sighed to myself. He would eventually. 

***

I felt terrible. Tommy didn't deserve this nonsense from my family, and he shouldn't have to deal with my feelings about the matter. We were supposed to be getting ready for Christmas. I was going to go with Tommy to pick out a tree for his family. Apparently they'd always left it up to Tommy and one of his friends. He spoke fondly and often of Chuck, who he said had been like a brother to him. Now it was Tommy and me. 

School was horrible, and when I saw Gally and Alby hanging out watching us in the lunchroom, I blew my top. I stood up roughly and stormed over there. 

"Do you have any bloody shucking idea what you've done to my life? Ha, see what I did there? Bloody shucking. Right up your alley, isn't it, you bastard? You leave me and my boyfriend alone. You're lucky I don't punch your bloody lights out right now. You've done enough. Not so scared of you anymore, am I? I met the right person. They give me all the bloody courage I need. Does it upset you, seeing me happy again? You liked those months I was depressed. You liked watching me suffer, liked the negative effect you had on me even though we weren't together anymore. Not that we were ever properly together. Not like me and Tommy. You've seen us. We're happy. When was I ever really happy with you?" 

"Newt, come away," Tommy said, trying to pull me away. 

"No, Tommy. This has gone on long enough. I think it's time the whole bloody school knows."

"Newt, no. Calm down," Sonya said, joining with Tommy to pull at me. I shrugged them off. 

"I've hidden it and been ashamed of it long enough. It's time for some closure." 

"Newt. Stop this," Minho said. "You remember how you begged me never to tell anyone? Was that all for nothing? What's the point of having hidden it so long if you're just going to expose yourself?"

"Exactly. I hid it and that was wrong. I'm sure there are other kids out there who need to know they can get out and move on."

***

I watched in horror as Newt climbed up on top of a table and called for attention. What the shuck was he doing?

"You all know of me, if you don't know me. I've probably danced with bloody half of you at some drunken party and I'd like to apologize for that and explain why I did that. You see, I was in an abusive relationship with Alby. I've still got some scars, not all of them physical. I've been seeing a therapist for months. I was too scared to get out of that relationship, and sometimes I thought things weren't so bad, because even Alby had limits. And sometimes, he could be nice. But he drilled it into me that I should be grateful that he took precious time from his life and devoted it to me. That I didn't deserve it and he was so bloody generous and good to me. My sister found out eventually, when I was depressed to the point I was suicidal. She helped me. To all you bloody shanks out there who think you want to date my sister, you had better be good to her or you will pay. I'm not even going to elaborate, or you'll be too scared to date her and I don't want that. She helped me through the toughest time of my life. She talked me out of jumping off my roof."

His eyes met mine, apologetically, and I realized he was revealing more now than he had before. Tears filled my eyes. Newt had nearly killed himself. My little Newt. My little Newt who loved tea and liked making pancakes and scarves and cuddling. How would the world have coped without him? 

The students were silent, staring at him, and Alby looked terribly uncomfortable. Gally edged away from him, looking somewhat disgusted. 

"Then she told me the truth. That he was cheating on me and I deserved better than him. She told my parents, and I worked up the courage to get out, with the help of my family. After that I was still depressed. I started going to parties and drinking and dancing some of the pain away. And then, one night, Minho introduced me to the most special person on the planet. You've met him. He's my boyfriend. My perfect, loving, understanding, compassionate boyfriend who was proud that I'd moved on and was happy again when I told him what happened with Alby. You all remember how you gossiped about me those months. About how thin I was getting, and how I looked like a zombie. Look at me now. Happy, healthy, and most definitely in love. All thanks to a person who had the kindness that everyone ought to have. He fixed me. And now my parents are upset with me for having a boyfriend. They don't trust my judgement, or my sister's. So I'd like to ask all of you, is or isn't Thomas Murphy the perfect boyfriend? Does he deserve to be judged by my parents? Does life with someone like Alby need to destroy you forever? Shouldn't we all be happy?"

The whole cafeteria was silent as it would be at midnight on a Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tired. There is too much snow to deal with.


	14. It's Okay With Me if You Don't Have That Much to Say

What had he done? What the hell had my boyfriend done? He'd just told everyone in the entire cafeteria. 

One girl burst into tears and started clapping. That set the rest of the students off. They clapped, cheered, whistled, even. Newt had people shaking his hand, hugging him, and thanking him for being an inspiration to them all through the rest of the lunch period. I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I hoped he enjoyed his new fame.

Gally came up to me just as I was leaving the cafeteria to go to my next class. I paused, worrying. Gally and Alby were best friends, everyone knew that. He stuck a hand out.

"I didn't know any of that about Alby. I'm sorry for what happened to your boyfriend, and I'm glad he moved on from that."

"Me too," I said, the first thing that came to mind. I didn't have a clue what to do. 

He just nodded and walked away. Okay. Weird. 

***

Tommy was gone. I didn't see him when I got out ofthe throng into the hallway. I was worried. Thankfully, my little (okay, not so little) outburst hadn't gone too badly, and now everyone seemed to want to be my best friend. It was kind of weird. 

I'd told the entire truth. Spilled every single little bean. Tommy was probably upset. Not in an angry way, just a sad way. Tommy was never angry with me. But I hadn't told him the whole truth, and he deserved to know that. He deserved to be the first to ever hear that. I just hoped everything was okay between us. 

***

I hated remembering that night. Hated it. Because I'd almost lost him. 

_I went into Newt's room without knocking. It was best not to give him time to put a facade on, I'd figured out. Poor Newt. If he could just get out. Alby was a sick bastard, hurting my brother that way._

_The sight that met my eyes was one that I'd never forget. Newt, standing on the railing of the balcony. About to jump._

_"No! Newt, please. Please don't. Please. I love you. I need you, Newt. Don't do this," I begged._

_He stopped, but didn't turn to face me. When he spoke, his voice cracked repeatedly._

_"Why not? I'm worthless. I don't deserve to live."_

_"Yes you do. You are my perfect big brother who always takes care of me. You're loving and gentle and I don't know a single person who doesn't love you. Please, Newt. Don't jump. Don't leave me here."_

_I was crying now. If I lost Newt, I couldn't even imagine life afterward. I didn't think I could cope. I loved him so much._

_"Sunny," he said, "I love you."_

_"Please."_

_"I can't keep going. I just can't. Alby's right, I should off myself and let the world go on as a better place."_

_"Newt, that isn't true. The world needs you. Please, please come down from there. I need you. I can't live without you."_

_"All I have to do is jump, and he can't hurt me anymore. I'm a failure, Sunny. I don't deserve to be loved."_

_"Let me help you. Talk to me. Please, Newt. I'll do anything, just come down from there."_

_"There's nothing you can do, Sunny. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

_"Newt, please. How would you feel if it was me up there and you here? I love you. Please. Just come in here and talk to me. Please, Newt."_

_He didn't say anything. I could see him trembling, whether from fear, cold, anticipation, or a combination of them, I didn't know. All I knew was that I needed my brother. I really, really needed him._

_"Sunny..."_

"I'm right here. Just please come down." 

He hesitated.

"Please. I love you."

He stepped backwards, down onto the safety of the balcony, and turned towards me. His face was shining in the light with tears. He looked so lost, so lonely. But he was safe. Relief filled me to the brim. I rushed forward and hugged him, sobbing. 

We cried on each other's shoulders, long into the night. He was safe.

***

"Hey."

"Hey," I said, looking awkwardly at the ground. I honestly didn't know what to say to Newt. 

"Are you mad?"

"No! Course not. I just...I wish you'd told me."

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Tommy. I really am. I didn't know how to tell you that. I...I'm sorry."

I nodded, still not sure what to do. 

"We okay?"

This was the second time he'd asked that, in the same tiny, worried voice, and it broke my heart just as painfully as the first time. My poor little angel. 

"C'mere." 

I pulled him into a hug, rocking back and forth. I pet his soft golden hair and comforted myself with his closeness.

"Of course we're okay, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. I could hear the tears in his voice.

"Shhh. It's okay. Don't cry, Newt. I've got you."

"I'm okay." He pulled back, taking a deep breath. "Look what I found on my locker."

He pulled a piece of cardstock out of his backpack. 

_Congratulations, Newt and Thomas! You've been voted "Cutest Couple"!_

Everyone in our Drama and English classes had signed it. I couldn't help chuckling. 

"You should show that to your parents."

"I think I will. I'll put it on the fridge when I get home. You wanna come over? They're working tonight."

"How could I say no?"

I was glad we had just sort of moved on for the time being. We would need to talk more seriously about this later, but not right now. Right now I needed to prove to Newt that we were fine. That I still loved him. That I was here for him, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure where this is going anymore...I'm so terribly sorry for the long wait (and that this is so short). Hopefully I will be back on a more regular posting schedule now. Thank you guys so much for your patience!!


	15. Kinda Like This Game

"Hello?"

"Hello, Doctor Paige. This is Newt."

"Is everything okay?" she asked. She sounded professionally worried.

"Well, sort of." That was the truth. "I told you about my boyfriend Tommy, remember?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well, he and his parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow night. I want you to be there and see what you think of him. My parents aren't..." I sighed. Tommy patted my thigh and smiled at me reassuringly. "Well, they don't trust me or Sonya's judgement, which I do partly understand, but I need to prove to them that they can trust us again. That Tommy's a good kid they can trust with me. You see what I'm getting at?"

"I understand. What time is the dinner?"

"We were thinking 6:30."

"Perfect! I'll be there."

"Thank you. There's one more thing I needed to talk to you about. I had an episode at school. Stood up on top of a table and spilled all the beans. The entire school knows everything."

She was quiet for a moment. I chewed my lip.

"And how did that go?" Her tone was hard to analyse. She didn't seem disappointed or pleased, just matter-of-fact.

"Surprisingly well. In fact, the more I think about it, the less I believe that the reaction was as good as it was. But I feel great. I've got nothing to hide from anyone anymore, and the truth about Alby is out. No one will make the same mistake I did."

"That's good. I'm glad you feel like it was productive. Why don't you and Thomas come in together on Tuesday, say 4:30? We can have a thorough discussion. I don't think I can do much more for you. You've grown and healed mostly on your own. That's something to be proud of. I'll always be here if you need to talk about something, of course, but I don't think we'll need our regular sessions anymore."

I smiled. "Thank you. I'll see if Tommy's available. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Absolutely!"

I hung up and sighed.

"Well, how did that go?" Tommy asked, looking up from where he lay with his head on my lap.

"Good. She'll be there, and she'd like the two of us to come in on Tuesday at 4:30. I think it's a sort of final evaluation group thingie, based on what she said."

"Is that good or bad?" 

I ruffled his hair fondly. His worried expression was adorable. 

"It's very, very good. Now, come up here and kiss me."

He eagerly obliged. I lay back on his soft mattress and let him take full control of the kiss. I loved the feeling of him on top of me, gently pinning me down, kissing me senseless, tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. It was so different from when Alby had pinned me down, forcing me to give him the pleasure he sought. Tommy's demands for control were gentle questions. 

I moaned, letting my hands move from around his neck to his chest, skimming over the lean muscle there and feeling his heart pounding. _I did that,_ I thought proudly. _I'm the one who's getting him aroused. No one else has that sort of power over him. And only he has that power over me._

An indeterminate amount of time passed before Tommy pressed his hips down against mine and I moaned into his mouth again. He was rock hard. I slipped a hand between us to palm him. He broke the kiss, panting. 

"Newt, 'm not gonna last if you keep that up." 

I smirked, despite being sure my eyes were glassy and that I looked completely wrecked. 

"Maybe I don't want you to. Maybe I want to take you apart just like this." Bloody hell, my voice had gotten incredibly deep. 

He stared at me for a few seconds, trembling with some sort of aroused emotion, then kissed me again, very much harder and more urgent. I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled at his shoulders, bringing him closer.

Only a few moments later he pulled back, blushing. I frowned. Why was he nervous?

"Tommy, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just...I want to try something." 

He couldn't meet my eyes to talk about it, apparently. I reached out and turned his head to look at me, gently concentrating on his features. I needed to know what was making him so nervous. I didn't want Tommy to feel that way around me. Ever. Nervous wasn't good; I ought to know. 

"Okay, just tell me," I said gently. "Nothin' to be worried about with me, Tommy."

Instead of answering me, he attacked my neck with kisses, nips, and licks, one arm slipping underneath me. My eyes fluttered closed and I tried not to whimper. I clung to him desperately, needing more contact. Needing something to ground me. How had he known how sensitive my neck was? How? _Oohhhhh_ that felt good. I was trembling violently with need.

"Shhh, I gotcha. 'M here," he murmured between nips. 

"Tommy..." I breathed. Bloody _hell_ this felt good. 

"Wanna blow you," he murmured. 

I snapped out of the pleasured daze I was in when the words registered. "Whoa, whoa, wait a second."

He pulled back, eyes wide with fright. He opened his mouth, no doubt to start an "oh my God I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you I'm not going to hurt you I promise" rant. I cut hm off. 

"No, Tommy, everything's fine." I squeezed his hand to reassure him. "It's okay, I just don't want you getting into something you aren't ready for. I don't want you feeling like you've gone too far and don't know what to do or if backing out is okay. Which it is, by the way. You're sure that's what you want?" 

He nodded, relaxing. 

"Yeah. I've wanted to for a while now."

"Well, I'm not going to say no to that," I smirked, "but you need to take it easy at first. Try things out slowly. And if you need to stop, just stop, okay? That is totally fine, ya hear?"

He nodded. I sat up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing our foreheads together with another smirk. 

I murmured, staring into his amber eyes. "I've been wondering what that pretty little mouth of yours can do. You're perfect, Tommy, you know that? I'm so bloody proud of you." 

I kissed him, short and gently, pulling back just enough to look at him through my eyelashes. 

"Now, make me even prouder." I whispered the words, seductively, and their effect on him was beautiful.

***

Sometimes Newt was sex personified. With swollen red lips, mussed up hair, looking at me that way, and speaking with that sultry tone, I felt like I'd do absolutely _anything_ to make him happy. To pleasure him. I _was_ going to do absolutely anything, no question. Newt was mine and I was Newt's and he needed to shucking _know_ that. No matter what, we belonged to each other.

I kissed him again, sneaking my hands down to pull his shirt off. I then fell back onto his neck and collarbone, making him shudder beautifully. I let my hands wander his chest, pushing him back down onto the mattress, stopping to play with his nipples. He arched off the bed, gripping the sheets with a whine. 

"Tommy, please." 

"I've got you." 

I kissed his lips again, softly, brushing a hand through his hair. 

"What do you need, sweetheart?" 

"Just bloody get on with it and quit teasing me." 

I smirked against his skin, enjoying the frustration I could see in the crease between his eyebrows and feel in the tautness of his muscles. 

"You like it, though, don't you?" 

He whimpered a reluctant "yes" and I went back to nipping at his collarbone. I sucked at the soft skin, relishing in the beautifully encouraging sounds he was making. I teased him nearly to tears as I marked him as mine before sliding down the bed to unfasten his jeans. He helped get them and his underwear off and pulled me back up for a kiss, cradling my head in his hands. He pulled back and hid his face in my shoulder. I tilted his chin up, concerned.

"You okay?"

He nodded. "I'm fine, Tommy. Just intense. It's been a long time since someone paid that much attention to what I wanted." He spoke quietly, as if he didn't really want to draw attention to the words.

I smiled sadly and nuzzled his cheek before giving it a tender kiss. "Well, I'm going to change that. You're my boyfriend. I'm supposed to make you feel good." 

There were so many emotions in his face, competing with each other until he said a simple "I love you." We both knew that those three words when shared between us meant so much more than the sum of their parts. They were anything but simple.

"Love you, too." 

"Now please get back to what you were doing." 

I smirked. "Eager, aren't we?" 

He huffed.

I kissed my way down his chest and stomach to his groin, teasing the skin there but not touching anything. He bit his lip to stifle a high-pitched sound. 

"I wanna hear you," I said. I needed to know if I was doing the right thing. I'd gotten to know what Newt liked and didn't like fairly well, but this was new and I had to make sure he liked it. I could tell by the sounds he made if I was pleasuring him or not, but I had to be able to hear him. Plus the sounds he made were hot. Dripping lava hot.

***

Bloody hell. Tommy was taking me apart and he'd barely done anything. Since when did he get so confident? I whimpered when he _finally_ touched me. 

Then came the first tentative lick and I had to concentrate very hard on not coming. It felt so _good_! Especially since it was Tommy. Tommy, who loved me and would always be there for me, even with all the emotional baggage of my past. None of it mattered; he loved me anyway, and he didn't constantly check his words to make sure he didn't mention anything. We just accepted it as fact and moved on. I appreciated that. 

As his confidence grew, so did the volume of my whimpers and moans. Soon my hands were tangled in his hair and I was dangerously close to orgasm. 

"Tommy," I panted, a weak attepmt at a warning. 

He looked up at me through his eyelashes and took me down deeper. My eyes widened. When Tommy did something, he did it thoroughly, apparently. 

I gentled my hands in his hair, trying to show him my concern rather than use him as a lifeline. His hands, however, teased and stroked my skin in such a frustrating way.

"You sure?" I asked, shuddering as he licked at the slit. My eyes fluttered shut. So much pleasure. So _much_. 

"Mm-hm. Love you," he said, going back to his careful kitten licks again. 

I was ready to cry. The pleasure and knowing it was _Tommy_ doing this to me, and that he loved me _so bloody much_ was overwhelming. I could feel my eyes watering. 

"Love you, too," I whimpered.

He looked up at me, quickly, and his eyes softened in that way they always did when I was upset. He took me all the way down again and I hate to admit it, but I'd call the sound I made as I came a mewl. 

***

The taste of Newt still thick on my tongue, I moved to lie beside him, cuddling my little blond beauty close. He was half-crying. I remembered when this had happened before and I'd been so terrified that I'd hurt him. Now I felt sort of smug that I'd made him feel that good, and very fond of him. My sweet little Newt. I'd do anything for him. I kissed away the few tears that had escaped his pretty eyes and rubbed our noses together in an Eskimo kiss. He managed to catch his breath and tried to move to satisfy my needs, but I stopped him. He looked confused. 

"No need, sweetheart. Seeing and hearing you was enough." I spoke softly. Somehow speaking any louder felt wrong.

Newt blushed as he settled down in my arms again. 

"I love you," I said. I'd said it before, and I'd say it again, but I could never say it enough, and the words would never truly convey the amount of feeling behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, I'm so sorry you've been waiting so long. Here's some smut to make up for it. ;)


	16. But There's Something You Should Know

Tommy smiled at me and kissed the tip of my nose. "What do you say we go Christmas shopping?"

I grinned. "Why not?"

So we cleaned up, Tommy borrowed some clothes, and then we bundled up a bit and went out. We took my car, and held hands over the console, of course. I was floating in my own little world, surrounded by warmth and love and Tommy. My Tommy. I sighed and squeezed his hand. 

"What?" he asked.

"I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

I chuckled. "We are such saps, you know." 

"I know. But supposedly that's cute."

"Minho's more likely to gag than go 'aww' at the two of us." 

"You have a point. But that's just how we are." 

I parked us outside the bookstore. 

"Books! Good old books. They make good gifts," Tommy said.

I grinned. "Yes, they do. Especially is the person you gift them to hates reading." 

He looked at me quizically. 

"My mom hates reading. With a passion."

He laughed. "Are you sure? I mean, we're trying to get on their good side, right?"

"Yeah, but Christmas is still a couple weeks away. We'll be on her good side by then, and if not, I don't really care if she doesn't like her present. I'm living the life," I said, spreading my arms out and spinning around with a grin.

"Hey, Newt!" someone called. I turned around to see Sonya's friend Harriet waving. She jogged over to us. 

"Harriet, good to see you," I said, smiling. 

"You, too. Look, I hate to bother you, but I can't think of a single present for my mom. Any ideas?" 

I hummed, thinking. "Maybe a cookbook. She loves cooking." 

"That's a good idea," Tommy pitched in. "Maybe get her Mary Berry's Baking Bible."

He winked at me and I rolled my eyes. 

"It's a good show, Tommy."

"It's all rigged and you know it. Richard should've won."

I turned back to Harriet. "It is a good cookbook. Tommy's just trying to get me worked up about The Great British Bake Off. He says it's stereotypical of me to watch it, and he's decided that he doesn't like it because his favorite baker didn't win."

He coughed. "Baking _Show_."

"For you Americans, yes. But in Britain, it's known as The Great British Bake Off, and the first season in America is actually the fourth season." 

Harriet laughed and shook her head. "Thanks for the help, Newt. I really appreciate it. I happen to know Sonya's been wanting a new curling iron, if you're looking for ideas." 

"Curling iron? All she ever does with her hair is fishtail braid it." I frowned.

Harriet shrugged. "I'm just passing it on."

"Well, thanks. Catch you later!" 

"Yeah, good luck!" 

She jogged off again.

I playfully smacked Tommy's arm. 

"Bake Off." 

"Baking Show." 

"Bake Off," I said, scooping up some snow and throwing it at him. He looked offended and threw some back. 

"Baking Show."

This, of course, escalated into a full-on snowball war, and some kids pitched in. Eventually some old lady scolded us when we nearly hit her in the head with a good sized snowball and we stopped. 

"I'm sopping wet," Tommy said, laughing. "You're cheeks are all red. You cold?" 

"Just a little," I replied. 

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and tugging me in the opposite direction of the bookstore we'd never made it into. "Can't have you catching cold. It's nearly Christmas."

He stopped in front of a coffee shop and opened the door, waving me through. 

"My treat," he said. "You find a seat and I'll get us drinks." 

"Going to surprise me?"

"Of course."

So I picked a booth by the window and looked out at the snow, smiling contentedly. I loved Tommy so much. He was the only person who could really get me to goof off like that.

***

I glanced back at Newt, who was smiling at nothing and gazing out the window. The light hit him just right. He looked beautiful. I sneaked out my phone and snapped a picture, which came out surprisingly better than suspected. I set it as my background while waiting for the drinks. 

I set the minty hot chocolate down in front of him and sat across from him with a smile. He sniffed it suspiciously. 

I huffed and crossed my arms. "Oh, come on. That was just once. I didn't know you wouldn't like it." 

"It was coconut flavored, Tommy. Who in their right mind puts coconut in coffee?" 

"This isn't even coffee." 

He sipped it cautiously, then took a gulp. 

"I take it all back. Thank you, Tommy. This is delicious." 

I chuckled. "So, bookstore to get your mom a book she's guaranteed to hate, then what?" 

"I guess Walmart for Sonya's curling iron. I'll get Dad a pair of jumper cables or something. Maybe some of that tire stuff. Slime, or whatever. Yeah, I'll go with that." 

I snickered. "You don't take Christmas gifts seriously, do you?" 

He shrugged. "Not really. Not when it comes to my parents, anyway."

"I usually get my mom a new succulent plant and my dad a coffee cup," I said, shrugging. "He breaks them frequently, and Mom's plant collection is pretty small, anyway."

He nodded. "Those are good ideas."

We talked a little more over our hot chocolate and warmed up, then made our way back to the bookstore. 

Newt browsed the young adult section and I wandered over to the travel guides. We each picked a book and met at the calendars. He held up Twilight and I doubled over laughing. When I finally caught my breath he was grinning. 

"What did you find?" he asked. 

"Trekking in Greenland," I said, showing him the cover. "Definitely get Twilight, though."

He snickered. "Pretty good, huh?" 

I nodded, laughing again. I'd already picked out Newt's present. Over the past few weeks I'd discovered he was fond of scarves, so I had planned to get us matching scarves. Because scarves. Who doesn't like scarves? I just had to go get them secretly. I wasn't sure about Sonya, though. I wasn't sure if getting her something would seem weird or not, but she'd stuck up for me to her parents, so I felt like I owed her something.

Minho, on the other hand, was easy. Hair gel. 

We bought the book, and the girl at the register had no clue why we kept giggling. 

We held hands as we walked back to the Mini. I didn't think of as 'Newt's car' or 'Newt's Mini' anymore. It was just 'the Mini' to me. I wondered if that said something about me. Newt took a shortcut to the Walmart, and we got a spot close to the doors, which was great, considering the temperature had dropped considerably. 

I quickly found a succulent plant and Newt grabbed the Slime. We met at the hair accessories aisle. Newt was already there, frowning. 

"You alright?" I asked, concerned. I grabbed a thing of hair gel for Minho and joined him.

He waved his hand vaguely at the shelves with the curling irons. 

"Look at all the bloody things. How are you supposed to know what to get?" 

I scanned the shelves. He did have a point. There were various brands and sizes. I hummed. 

"Well, let's see." I picked up a box to see if it had some sort of "perfect for x type hair" thing. Newt pulled out his phone. After a minute he huffed. 

"Well that was helpful," he scoffed. 

"Hm?" 

"The Wikihow article I found. I don't know what sort of curl she wants, so none of that was helpful. The ones with larger barrels make looser curls, and the smaller you go, the tighter curl you get. Depending on your hair type, certain curls will hold better than others." 

"Sounds like you learned something." 

"Yeah, I know what to look for in a curling iron, but without knowing what my sister wants to do with her hair, it doesn't help. And this is the only time I'll ever need that information." 

"That's how I feel about algebra. Wait, didn't Harriet say a _new_ curling iron?" 

Newt snapped his fingers. "She did. Let's get what we have, and I'll be super sneaky and clever and talk to her tonight and see what she wants."

I grinned. "Newton Holmes, on the case."

He glared at me. "Don't start."

We bought the stuff we had and Newt drove me home. I wished we didn't have to part, but the kiss goodbye Newt gave me held a promise for the future, and the whispered "Sleep well, Tommy" was almost enough to make it okay. Almost. 

But hey, dreaming about him wasn't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, I am SO sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been horribly ill. :( I'm doing better now, though.


	17. I Just Came to Say Hello

The doorbell rang and I scurried to answer it, sliding across the floor in front of my mother. She scowled and I grinned. They had no idea what they were in for. Sonya and I had done all the cooking and Sonya was setting the extra places at the table, unbeknownst to our parents.

I'd magically managed to figure out what Sonya was looking for, and I didn't think she had me figured out. But you never knew with Sonya. I'd gone to the Walmart right after school and grabbed the curling iron. I had yet to get Tommy's present, but that would be easy. I just had to grab them from the Target. I was planning on doing that tomorrow.

I opened the door and smiled broadly at Dr. Paige. 

"Hello! Come in," I said. Mom frowned for a split second. 

"Hello, Ava. Good to see you." 

"You, too. I'm looking forward to meeting Newt's boyfriend and his family."

Dad invited her into the living room and Mum grabbed my arm, stopping me from following.

"Who all is coming tonight?"

"Dr. Paige, Tommy, and Tommy's parents," I replied. 

"You could've told us!"

I shrugged. She sighed exasperatedly and went into the living room. I followed, holding back a smirk.

"Well, I haven't been here in a while. I see you've painted," Dr. Paige said. 

Mum nodded. "We did that last month."

"I like it."

"Thanks," Mum replied. She'd repainted the entire house in the hopes that the change would help me. Personally I thought the living room looked hideous now, but the rest of the house was great. 

The doorbell rang again and I nearly smacked my head on the doorway in my rush to answer it. I beamed at Tommy and his parents.

"Hello! Come on in, it's freezing out there!" I led them into the living room and made all the introductions. Mum and Dad seemed a bit stiff at first, but kept their cool. I grinned at Tommy behind Mum's back. He smiled back, the adorable lop-sided one with the dimples. We all chatted for a bit and my parents started to loosen up. Mum even quite glaring at me as I cuddled with Tommy. We were so intertwined we fell off the couch in a heap when we tried to get up and go in for dinner. I giggled as Tommy pulled me up off the floor. 

Tommy's parents shook their heads fondly at us and that's when my parents finally relaxed. They had clear evidence here that Tommy's parents were normal people, and that Tommy and I had a genuinely fun relationship. Alby and I would never have cuddled like that, and even if we had, he would've been mad and probably smacked me when we fell over. I pushed that thought away and sat next to Tommy, holding his hand under the table. Sonya had set out the Tikka Masala chicken, with rice and bell peppers. It was one of my favorite meals.

"So, Thomas, how's school?" my dad asked.

I rolled my eyes. Of all the questions to ask, the most common thing to ask a high-schooler is what he chose.

"Pretty good. I got my French grade up to an A- today, thanks to Newt." He smiled at me. "Got to keep that GPA up, right?" 

"Especially if you want to get into the same college as me. You know I'm Ivy League material," I said playfully. 

"I wish. Unless you possess some sort of magic abilities, I don't think I'm going to keep my math grade up enough to get in somewhere other than a community college. But I'm trying." He squeezed my thigh. 

"I'm sure I can find a way," I said, smirking. 

"When did you move from England?" Tommy's mother asked. 

"When Newt was old enough for school. We thought America would be a better place to raise our family," Mum replied. 

"She means when she and nan had that huge fight over sending me to a boarding school," I murmured to Tommy. His hand moved further up my thigh. I inhaled a little sharply, but thankfully everyone else was too busy talking to notice. 

Tommy barely hid his smirk when I glanced over at him, and inched his hand just a little higher. So _that's_ how tonight was going to be. I shifted slightly in my seat and tried to focus on not dropping my fork when his hand brushed over my crotch. 

My dad asked him another "so what do you plan to do with yourself" question and Tommy answered it without even blinking,

I took a gulp of water and tried to act normal, which was almost impossible with Tommy's hand rubbing and squeezing. I sent him a look, but he just smiled back fondly and increased his pace. 

I bit back a whimper and utterly failed to continue eating. I just sat there and tried to play with my food. When Tommy slipped his hand under my pants I looked around the table to see if anyone noticed. Tommy's parents were talking to mine and Sonya was chatting with Dr. Paige. Tommy smirked when I looked at him pointedly. I needed to protest, but it felt _so good._ Something about the situation made it even more pleasurable.

I was getting too close. I pushed at Tommy's wrist, silently begging him. He smiled at me, reassuringly. Somehow I didn't find it reassuring at all. I gripped his arm as I shuddered through my orgasm. He pulled away and calmly answered something my mum asked him.

I excused myself and rushed to the bathroom upstairs. For a moment I just gripped the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. That had just happened. Someone knocked on the door.

"Just a minute," I said, somehow managing to keep my voice steady.

"It's me," Tommy said. "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I should've thought that through a bit better."

I opened the door and pulled him in. 

"It's okay, I just wasn't expecting it."

"C'mere," he said, holding his arms out. I huffed fondly and hugged him. "Was it good?"

I chuckled and leaned my head against his shoulder. 

"Really good. We should get back downstairs before they suspect something, though." 

"Good point. This is First Impression Night after all. They're still finishing dinner." 

I smiled and pecked him on the lips. 

"You go back down, I'll clean up and discreetly change before I join you. You're doing great, believe me. They love you." 

"That's good. I'll see you in a minute."

He left after another kiss. I hurried to clean up as quicly as I could and changed equally quickly before rushing down the stairs. Sonya was cleaning up, and refused my offer to help her, so I went with everyone else into the living room. 

Dr. Paige sat next to Tommy and I. She smiled and held out a hand to Tommy. 

"I'm Dr. Paige, I don't believe we got properly introduced. Someone was a little too excited you were here."

I blushed. 

"Nice to meet you. I'm sure someone has told you quite a bit about me." 

"Oh yes. And I agree with someone that you've been a positive influence on him. We'll be meeting in a professional capacity next week, right?"

"Yes, Tuesday at four, I think?"

"Four thirty." 

"That's right. Someone is looking forward to it."

"I'm right here, Tommy," I mumbled, blushing again. 

"Aww, feeling left out?" he asked, then peppered my face with kisses until I pushed him away. 

"Tommy," I whined. He just smiled at me. "How have I never noticed how disgustingly sappy we are?"

"I don't know. Maybe cuz we're not. We're just cute. That's what the school thinks." 

We cuddled more until Tommy's parents said that they had to go. I reluctantly let Tommy go and walked him to the door. He kissed me, lingerly, and left me breathless. A few minutes later Dr. Paige decided she had to go too. She smiled broadly and left us all with a warm feeling. 

"Well, I like him," Sonya said. "He's nice." 

"Yes, I like him, too. He's got plans for himself. That's a sign of a good person," Dad said. 

Mum hugged me. "I'm sorry. I should've listened to you. He and his family are very nice." 

I was in a little bit of a daze the entire evening. They liked Tommy. We were okay. I was so unbelievably happy. When I went to bed, I just lay there for hours, buzzing with joy. I texted Tommy a goodnight and finally fell asleep, still smiling. 

The next morning, immediately after breakfast, I went to Target and got Tommy's Christmas present. I couldn't wait to give it to him. I sent a quick text.

 _Just got your Christmas present. :D Love you_

_Same here, lol. Love you too, sweetheart XX_

I grinned. Maybe I would get my happily ever after. Scratch that, I _had_ my happy ever after. And it was marvelous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! There will be two more chapters, and maybe an epilogue. :)


	18. I Could Stick Around and Get Along With You

Newt kissed me goodbye, eyes sparkling in the dim glow of the lamp outside the front door. 

"Goodbye, Tommy. I'll see you soon," he whispered against my lips, and smiled softly.

He made no move to leave and we shared an intimate moment, simply staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you," I breathed.

Newt chuckled. "I heard you the first thousand times today."

"I know I say it a lot, but I mean it. I really, really love you." I pleaded with my eyes. Please understand what I'm trying to say. I love you. You're my everything. I couldn't live without you. You're an angel and deserve so much more than me, but I will do everything I can to be worthy of you. I would do anything for you. 

He seemed to get the point and looked at me fondly.

"Oh Tommy. I know you do. I love you, too. So, so, _so_ much." He rubbed his nose against mine in an Eskimo kiss. "I want you by my side for the rest of my life."

"Are you proposing?" I joked, trying to cover up how vulnerable I felt. I didn't even know why, but I felt so desperate and uncertain.

"No, but I could see us getting married one day."

My heart stopped for a moment and then beat double time to make up for it. Just the thought of marrying him made me weak in the knees.

"Me too," I whispered.

He smiled at me. "You should get some sleep. It's a school day tomorrow and I want you to be ready to go when I come to pick you up."

"Yes, mom." 

He laughed and turned to go.

"Dream of me."

I smiled. "I always do," I called after him.

***

I felt so warm and bubbly inside after our evening. Tommy was so precious. He knew everything that had happened to me, and despite it all was still here. Not only that, he acknowledged it and made sure I knew that he loved me and would be there for me if I ever needed him, all without making a big thing of my past. As I lay down in bed that night, I wondered. Wondered how I'd gone from the abusive relationship with Alby to eagerly giving myself to the love of my life. Wondered what force of fate had pulled my perfect boyfriend and I together. He was so sweet and gentle and so bloody _romantic._

My life would never be the same again. And that was wonderful.

Earlier that day I'd driven from school to the Target and picked up his Christmas present. I'd probably looked incredibly shifty, sneaking around to make sure he wouldn't see me on the off chance he was there too. I'd wrapped it and put it under the tree when I got home and paced around the house, trying not to grab my phone and text him. I was supposed to pick him up at four. Tommy had gotten a ride home with Minho and his parents. It had felt weird not to take him home. But I'd told him I needed time to get ready for our appointment. 

I glanced at the clock. Finally time to leave. I waited impatiently at the intersection, where somebody in a blue Lexus had no idea what "right of way" was. I sighed when she finally just turned and rushed to Tommy's house. He was on the porch, trying to look like he was casually waiting. The way he ran to the Mini and kissed me when he got in gave him away, though. 

"Mmm. Missed you." 

"Missed you too, Tommy. You okay with this? We don't have to go."

"No, it's fine. Dr. Paige is nice, and anything that will help with your parents' opinion of me is definitely something I want to do."

"Aw, Tommy, don't worry about that. They love you. They wanted me to invite you and your family over to ours for Christmas."

We were five minutes early when we pulled into Dr. Paige's office. I used the time to kiss Tommy senseless. I could tell he was nervous, even though he pretended to be fine.

"You're going to be fine, love."

He leaned into my hand on his cheek and closed his eyes. I smiled. 

"We've got to go in now." 

"Mmkay," he mumbled.

I took his hand when he got out of the car and we went inside. I led Tommy to the door of her office and knocked.

"Hello!" she said with a wide smile. "Come on in and make yourselves at home."

I pushed Tommy in ahead of me and guided him to the loveseat. I had no problem snuggling up to him, either. He looked a little uncertain, so I squeezed his hand.

"I don't suppose you could assure Tommy that you aren't going to murder him?" 

She laughed. "Of course not. This is more of a chat than anything, really, Thomas. Nothing to be worried about. I've heard enough about you from Newt and seen enough of you two interacting to be sure that you're a perfectly good boyfriend."

Tommy relaxed, but still held onto my hand. I leaned my head against his shoulder with a contented hum. 

Dr. Paige's office was very relaxing. It wasn't a clinical white or grey with a single potted plant in the corner. It was a pastel blue with a fish tank set into one wall. She kept a single lionfish in it, and all sorts of those little decorations that look like ruins and shipwrecks. She kept a couple clay sculptures her daughter had made on little rustic wood stands around the room. Whoever her daughter was, she was good at sculpture. 

I tilted my head. "I don't think you've ever told me your daughter's name." 

"Teresa. She goes to your school. She says the two of you," she gestured to Thomas, "are good friends." 

We both frowned. 

"Hm. If good friends means 'I hit on a boy and ran away when I found out he was gay and had a boyfriend then weeks later proposed that we hang out' then yes, they're good friends," I said.

Now it was her turn to frown. "That's not the way I heard it."

Which led to a long discussion on Teresa, homophobia, and eventually to the relationship between Tommy and me. Dr. Paige was a master at manipulating conversations. I was glad to see that Tommy started to relax and join in more by the time the talk came around to us. Good bloody _Lord_ I love him. I would spend the rest of my life showing him that if he'd let me. 

Wait. I started thinking about my last thought. Would I marry Tommy? I mean, of course we were too young to get married right now, but would I in the future? Yes. I would definitely marry Tommy. He was my everything. The love of my life. And I needed to show him that. Needed to show him just how bloody much he meant to me.

So when we left, I drove to our favorite coffee shop and insisted on paying, then we went for dinner. I wracked my brains on what to do for the rest of the evening. Something special. Aha. 

"Tommy, I want to take you somewhere tonight."

"You just did," he said, holding up his coffee and gesturing to our mostly finished meal.

"I mean somewhere else. You have to keep your eyes closed on the drive, though."

He smiled. "Okay, sweetheart."

My heart did that painful clench it liked to do when Tommy smiled at me like that. I bit my lip. 

His expression changed to concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just really want to kiss you right now."

He huffed out a laugh and leaned across the table, kissing me sweetly. I bit back a whimper. What was up with me tonight? I was so overwhelmed with the need to show Tommy I loved him. So bloody overwhelmed. 

I finally pulled back. "We should go now."

"Okay."

We went out to the Mini. "No peeking," I warned.

"Or what?" Tommy asked, playfully. 

"Or I won't give you your surprise when we get there," I whispered in his ear, giving it a suggestive lick. "Eyes closed, Tommy."

He blushed and closed his eyes. Good thing, too, because I was blushing just as badly as him. What had come over me? Was I really subconsciously planning some sort of sexual activity? I shook my head and started the car.

I found my hand running teasingly up and down Tommy's thigh the whole way, and didn't stop myself, especially when I noticed what it was doing to him.

It was a twenty minute drive to Lookout Point, and when we got there, he was squirming.

"Backseat," I whispered, deciding to just go with these randomly surfacing thoughts and desires. Tommy certainly didn't seem to mind. He was in the backseat almost before I could process it. I followed, pushing him to lay down and kissing him hard and pinning his hands above his head. He moaned.

"Keep them there," I whispered, kissing along his neck. He did. My sweet Tommy. I whispered "I love you" between kisses, running my hands underneath his shirt to map out the lean muscle there. I worked it off of him and kissed down his chest, pausing to tease his nipples. 

"Newt," he moaned. "Please."

I smirked. It was good to know I had the same effect on him as he did on me. He did look a little lost, though, so I reassured him. 

"I'm here, Tommy. I've got you, love. I've got you." I worked his jeans open as I whispered. His hands twitched as if he wanted to touch me, but he kept them where I'd put them. That turned me on even more, somehow. 

I took him in my mouth, licking around the head, still teasing at this point. My poor little Tommy was tearing up with need when I glanced up at him, so I had mercy on him and took him down deep.

I paid careful attention to his whimpers and pleas, giving him what he wanted. I reached up and pulled one hand to my hair when the need to touch me seemed to get too strong, and he instantly tangled his fingers in it, not trying to control me in the slightest, just feeling me there. His other hand stayed firmly put above his head. _Bloody **hell**_ that did things to me. Completely giving himself up to me.

When he came, hard, he lay still for a few moments before asking, bloody _asking_ if he could move now. 

"Of course, love," I soothed, brushing a hand through his hair.

He instantly pushed me down on the seat, apparently to return the favor. 

"Tommy, you don't have to," I said, knowing it had been intense and that he might not be up to it.

"Want to," he murmured.

"Take it easy, love," I said, stroking his cheek.

"Your turn." He put my hands above my head. "See exactly what you did to me."

My eyes widened. I _always_ touched Tommy during sex. Always. I nodded quickly, swallowing. This was going to be...interesting. His entire composure changed, though.

"If that's okay," he said, so softly, so sweetly. He lay a tender hand on my cheek. "You don't have to. I...I wasn't thinking."

I frowned. What? 

"Newt?" He looked a little worried. "You okay? Talk to me." 

"I'm fine, Tommy. What are you on about?"

"I...controlling you..." He looked like he didn't want to spell it out, like he was worried. It hit me suddenly. Controlling me. Like Alby. 

"Oh. Oh! Sweet little Tommy. C'mere." I sat up and kissed him. "You're not him, love. I know that. I want this."

"You sure?"

"Yes." I lay back down. "Now, please do _something_ ," I begged. I'd put aside my wants to take care of Tommy, but now I needed him. Really needed him.

He did as I asked, taking me to that place only he ever had, way up in the air, just floating. No worries, just my Tommy. Not being able took me to a whole new level of desperate. I was practically mewling by the time I came, and as soon as Tommy had redone my pants and I had control of my limbs I jumped up to hold him. I nuzzled his neck, ran my hands up and down his back, pressed up against him. 

"Shh, shh," I heard, and realized I was whining. I stopped. 

"Sorry."

"It's okay, sweetheart. That was intense." 

"Yeah," I laughed breathlessly. "But really, really good."

I pulled back to look at him. He smiled at me, making my heart do that thing again.

"Now, I did bring you up here for a reason other than to ravish you in my car." I smirked. "You can see the whole town from up here." 

I got out of the car, pulling him with me. We sat on a rock, leaning against each other. I sighed. 

"This is beautiful," he murmured. 

"Yeah. This is one of my special places."

"Thank you."

I looked at him. "You never have to thank me, Tommy." 

"I don't just mean for the sex. Thank you for bringing me somewhere special to you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. Thank you for being you."

I gave him a tiny smile. "You never have to thank me, Tommy."

"Yes, I do, because taking your partner for granted always ends badly. And I don't want to lose you."

I laughed. "Do you really think I'm ever going to leave you?"

He looked at me strangely. I stopped laughing.

"You don't, do you?"

"Most people don't stay together after high school. It's not that I don't want to, it's just a fact. So I'm going to be extra special careful not to do anything to make you want to leave." 

"Ya bloody idjit. You couldn't fend me off with a stick. You're stuck with me." I chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"Good." 

We snuggled for a little longer before I patted his knee.

"Best get you home. It's past your bedtime, and although eloping is always an option, I'd rather stay on your mum's good side. Plus, I want you guys over for Christmas."

He huffed. "Don't worry, you're enough like my mother to stay on her good side." He put on a terrible British accent. "Past your bedtime, Tommy."

I snickered. "I don't sound like that."

"No, you don't. I love your accent."

I smiled at him.

***

My perfect little Tommy. Of course I'd marry him. Like I'd said, he was stuck with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I was in Yellowstone from the 14th until tonight, so SO sorry I didn't give you any warning. Anyway, here's the chapter!


	19. Christmas

The presents were under the tree, the Glee Christmas album was playing in the background, there was holly and mistletoe everywhere (yes, the mistletoe was my idea, and I couldn't wait to drag him underneath it) and Sonya was stirring the hot chocolate in the kitchen. I was pacing back and forth and peeking out the window, waiting and waiting. Very impatiently. Tommy and his family were supposed to be here _three minutes ago._

I growled, making Sonya laugh.

"They get here when they get here, Newtie. Just relax, okay? Your boyfriend is on his way."

My phone pinged and I lunged across the room to grab it, tripping over a chair and snagging a garland with my arm. I ended up on the floor, wrapped in tinsel.

"Not a bloody word," I grumbled, too late. Sonya was shrieking with laughter, soon joined by my parents when they came to investigate the noise.

I untangled myself and put the garland back up, after a few failed attempts. I looked at the clock. Now they were seven minutes late. Remembering what had started the whole garland fiasco, I grabbed the phone and saw the text from Tommy. I bit my lip and crossed my fingers before I read it.

_Sorry we're late. We're leaving now. Mom couldn't pick what to wear. *eye roll*_

I let out a breath. "They're on their way."

I nearly fell over again when I scrambled to answer the door for the gift-bearing Murphys. Tommy and I were left alone in the dining room a minute later. I stared at him, suddenly speechless and shy. 

"Hey," he said, giving me a little heart-melting smile.

"Hey," I whispered. 

He backed up a few steps and smirked. I frowned, not understanding. He pointed up.

"Oh no, I'm under the mistletoe. Whatever shall you do?"

"I guess..." I stepped up close to him, "I'll just have to do this."

I kissed him, softly, sweetly, gently. My Tommy. My bloody perfect Tommy. Mine. 

"Just promise me one thing," I said. 

"And what's that?"

"No handjobs at the table."

He laughed, clear and warm. It made my heart flutter. Then he looked me in the eye, taced a thumb over my cheekbone, and said gently,

"I promise, sweetheart."

***

I knew I would find a way around the promise. And now I had it. Newt was on my lap, and we were sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch with a soft, fleecy blanket wrapped around us. Our rather intense under-the-mistletoe makeout session had been interrupted by our parents, and now we were all sitting in the living room watching Holiday Inn. Or at least, some of us were. One of us was sneaking a hand into his boyfriend's pants. 

I stroked gently, slowly. Teasing. Newt melted against me, turning his head to hide his blush in the crook of my neck. To all witnesses, it looked like we were cuddling. Which was a reasonable assumption, given the amount of cuddling typical between Newt and I. 

I used my thumb to play with the head, and once I felt Newt tensing, I stopped completely. Newt pulled away a little to glare at me.

"Bloody tease," he mouthed. I smirked.

"I love you." 

His glare softened, reluctantly. 

"Love you too, Tommy. Merry Christmas."

"You too. Our first Christmas."

He smiled and leaned back against me.

***

Once the movie was over it was present time. I bit my lip when I handed Tommy the meticulously wrapped box, and he handed one to me. 

"We can open them together," he said, smiling.

I carefully peeled away the snowman wrapping paper to reveal one of those white carboard boxes they put clothes in. I opened it slowly, the same time Tommy opened his. We both started laughing. 

I pulled the red scarf and and wrapped it around my neck, while Tommy put on his navy blue one. He came over and kissed me. 

"I love it," he said. 

"I love mine, too. I have to ask, do you have a matching one for yourself?"

He nodded. 

"Me too," I laughed. "We had the exact same idea."

"Soulmates."

He said it jokingly, but when I thought about it, we could be soulmates. Maybe we were. All I know is that I love him. So bloody much. And nothing will ever change that.

"Soulmates," I echoed, quietly. 

Tommy kissed me, and then pulled me into a dance as Jingle Bell Rock came on the radio. 

Three words:

Best. Christmas. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final installment of this story! I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I appreciate your support and especially your patience as I took so much time away from all my stories, and then took forever to write this, and it's still incredibly short. It's so hard to write Christmas when it isn't Christmastime. I don't even know why I did it.
> 
> Newtmas is real, my friends. Very, very real. And they will never leave our hearts.


	20. Suprise Epilogue

"Sonya! Sonya!!" I yelled into my phone. "Will you _please_ call me back! This is really bloody important." 

I bounced in my seat. Why was it that the _one time_ I really needed my sister to pick up the phone, she didn't? I jumped when the phone rang and answered it immediately. I didn't give her a second to say hello before I blurted out the news.

"He proposed." 

***

I had the ring. I'd had the ring for nearly a month now. I needed to do this _perfectly_ though. This would be monumental. I wanted this to be our fourth favorite memory together, after the births of our two kids and our wedding. 

_Which will never happen, if you don't bloody ask him,_ I thought. _You're even picking up his words. You love him. Just ask him._

I sat down with a notebook and looked at the framed picture I had of us at our graduation I kept on my nightstand. I smiled and started writing a list of proposal musts. 

***

I smiled at my phone. Tommy texted me every day, and we spent weekends together. We'd chosen different colleges, me majoring in art and him in business management. However, the awesome thing was that our colleges weren't that far apart. 

Tonight's text was asking me to go out to dinner this Saturday. I texted a quick _Of course I will you bloody dufus. When do I ever say no to dinner with my hot boyfriend? ;)_

Looks like I'm going to dinner.

***

He was supposed to be here any second now. This was the fanciest restaraunt I could find that would do what I wanted. I tugged on my tie, trying to relieve some of the stress I was feeling.

"Tommy, what's all this?" 

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. This was it. Tonight was _it_. I turned around with a bright smile. 

"What? You don't want a romantic dinner?" 

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I do, I'm just wondering what the occassion is."

I hugged him tight, hiding my nervousness in the crook of his neck. "I missed you." 

"Aw, Tommy. I'm here." He hugged me back, tight. "I missed you, too."

"C'mon. We've got a table reserved."

With candles, your favorite classical music in the background (because I made a playlist and paid the restaraunt to play it) 24 blood red roses I had to special order a week in advance from a specialty florist, and your favorite wine, I didn't add.

We got to our table and his mouth dropped open a little. 

"Tommy..." He looked close to tears. "This is perfect."

I smiled at him. "Not as perfect as you."

We chatted as usual over dinner, even if it was filet mignon and I was nervous as hell.

After dinner I took his hand and we walked out onto the patio. More roses and candles. I bit my lip. This was it. Oh God. What if he said no? I took a shaky breath.

"Push this button," I said, holding out the little device. OhGodohGodohGod

He did, looking slightly confused and definitely amused, and the lights came on one by one, just like they were supposed to, running down the cord to light up the words "Marry me" in perfect cursive. Oh God. I knelt down and held out the ring. 

He gasped and looked back and forth between the sign and me. He looked around and the roses and candles.

"Oh!" he breathed and covered his mouth with both hands, tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks. He nodded frantically. I stood up, took his hand, and slipped the ring onto his finger. He sniffled.

"Tommy..." 

"Shh, love," I whispered, pulling him in for a kiss. 

He was outright sobbing when we pulled apart. Then "Better Place" came on the radio, softly in the background. I'd clung to the song when he introduced me to it, as it encompassed everything I felt for him. He looked at me like a frightened deer, teary eyes wide and sparkling. 

"Tommy, it's too much," he said through his tears. I just held him close and slowdanced to the song, humming along gently. 

When it was over I kissed him again, soft and sweet. He looked so overwhelmed. Maybe I'd done too much...I pushed the thought away and guided him to my car.

He stared at the ring, eyes shining. It seemed like he couldn't believe this was actually happening. 

I parked the car and hurried to open his door. 

"A Marriott..." he breathed, and looked at me as if I'd grown wings. 

I slipped an arm around his waist and walked him in. 

I got our key and waited impatiently for the elevator. Newt was too shellshocked to say anything, apparently. 

Finally, _finally_ we got to our room. Newt's eyes were wide and he stood, trembling, in the middle of the room.

"Newt?" I asked softly, coming up to lay a hand on his cheek. "Are you okay?" 

He nodded and said tearfully, "I love you so bloody much." 

"I love you, too," I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his lips and slipping his suit jacket off. I trailed kisses from his lips to his jaw, down his neck, and along his collarbone, once I'd worked off the clothes that restricted my access to his soft skin. He let out a little moan as I kissed him more passionately, running my hands over his sides and back. He shuddered against me, fumbling with the buttons of my shirt.

"Shh, Newt, let me. Let me take care of you," I whispered, pressing another kiss just below his ear. He nodded, relaxing into my touch. I smiled into the next careful kiss to his collarbone. "That's right. I've got you, precious."

He whimpered at that, pulling at me in a desperate attempt to communicate something. I knew him well enough to understand and gently guided him to the bed and strip him of his slacks and underwear. I had to pull away a bit to take my own clothes off, but I made sure to stay close enough he knew I hadn't left him. I'd only seen him like this a few times, so completely lost to the pleasure I gave him. It was beautiful.

His soft sigh when I finally touched him was only the beginning. I was skilled in the art of drawing little moans and whimpers from him, and used all that knowledge tonight, teasing him. When he gasped out my name and a plea, I had mercy and reached for the lube. 

I was gentle with him, careful, loving. I showed him through kisses and love bites and gentleness how much I loved him. How much I would always love him. Tonight was a promise.

***

I was near tears as I told Sonya the news. I couldn't stop my hands shaking as I stared at the ring. This was real. This was happening. Tommy and I were getting married. Literally. It wasn't an abstract concept anymore. It was reality.

"Oh, Newt, I'm so happy for you! So, so happy for you! When's the wedding?"

"I don't know, Sunny, probably not for a couple months, but I'm already nervous! And excited. Definitely excited. Is this real? I mean it, is this actually bloody happening? I'm not having some sort of beautiful dream?"

Tommy kissed one of the marks he'd left on my neck. "No, love. It's real," he murmured.

"I'll leave you two to it, then," Sonya giggled. "Come home soon! We miss you!"

***

Tommy swooped me up into a kiss, then looked at me with that sweet little smile. Some things never change.

"Missed you," he said.

"I keep telling you you're a sap, and you still don't believe me. Can't manage to be away from me for a total of one work day," I teased.

"Who would want to be apart from their beautiful husband for a whole day?"

"We've been married for five years, Tommy, and as happy as it makes me to hear you call me beautiful, you should be used to being away at work by now."

"We've been married for half a decade. Does it make you feel old?"

I laughed. "Yes, Tommy. I feel ancient. I expect you'll have to put me in a nursing home soon."

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. Like, it feels like a couple weeks ago we were crying at our wedding."

"You did a lot more crying than me."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"No more arguing. You know it will lead to fighting and eventually divorce. And then we'll fight over custody of the cat."

"I know you're joking, but thinking about divorce makes me horribly depressed. Let's order Chinese and make fun of that old sci fi movie you found on Newtflix."

"Bloody hell, Tommy, don't make me cry. And we are _not_ calling it Newtflix!" I swatted his arm.

"Are too!"

I sighed. "When will we ever grow up?"

"I dunno. When will you finally look a day older than when I met you?"

"Aw, gimme a break, Tommy. I look at least two years older now."

"You did, and then you grew your hair out again. My eternally youthful Newt."

"Stop daydreaming about me while I'm right here, and tell me what you want from Ocean Pearl."

"Are you blushing?"

"Shutup, Tommy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no intention to write this, but here it is. :D Thank you for your support and patience!

**Author's Note:**

> This song was originally inspired by the Lady Aqua song "I Just Came to Say Hello", which I heard for the first time in a Maze Runner crack video. If you want the link lemme know! It's a bloody hilarious video, on of the best out there in my opinion.


End file.
